Trading Places: Personal stories from viewers

I must tell you after hearing your story on caring for an ageing parent, I felt compelled to send you my thoughts. Had anyone told me that I would have been in mid 30's, and caring for my father (in poor health - due to multiple strokes and heart problems), I wouldn't have believed. After the very unexpected passing of my mother, my siblings and I found ourselves barely able to focus on the gift in front of us, our father. We were focused on mounting bills, health care decisions that we knew nothing about (our Mother had always made those decisions), how to care for an adult that needed assistance eating, bathing, walking, and what about caring on our daily lives. Things changed a bit, now it's adult day-care, taking turns caring for them through the night, making sure you are always fulfilling their physical and emotional needs. At the time it was terrifying, unexpected, stressful and costly. In the end. . .what a gift. You see we were able to do something that many will never have the opportunity or desire to do. We were able to spend every day with this person that was a treasured part of our life, we were now able to be proud and grin from ear-to-ear when he took his first step, when he told a joke, or just feel comforted when he was sleeping. If someone were to ask for advice in this situation, I would say, the negative times and the hards will pass. Be greatful for the gift you have been given because you never know when it will be taken away. --Anonymous , Omaha, NE (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

Hi! I am the 24/7/365 caregiver for my 86 year old mother with Alzheimer disease. Mom lived in upstate New York and relocated 7 hours south 16 months ago so that I could care for her and keep her out of a nursing home. I do the day shift and my husband who works all day takes the night shift. I gave up my job (as a nurse for people with Alzheimer disease) to care for my mother. Our entire life has been turned upsidedown. There is nothing that has not changed. The silver lining to it all is that mom receives hands on care at all times and my husband and I are learning how to have a servant's heart! We are experiencing the true role reversal as mom regularly calls me "mother"! We do employ someone from an agency who comes in once a week and gives my husband and I a break. Otherwise mom and I are attached at the hip. God bless you for covering this huge, immensely weighty issue. --Marilyn Snyder, Mount Joy, PA (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

Submitted by Nancy Kangas Grandpa - eating healthy breakfast, ready to shave after eating, and his 'cap' on table until he finishes his morning projects. Then the cap goes on until lunch timel. 88 years old in this picture and able to live in his own home in Wico Location, Wakefield MI.

Submitted by Nancy Kangas Grandma sharing a handshake with her 3 year old granddaughter. She was always ready to give a hand to help all of us!

Thanks so much for the special feature on caring for an aging parent. I had tears while listening to Brian Williams and his dad share their conversations. Reminded me so much of the times I spent caring for my mom and dad. They were in their early 90's when they passed away. The care from agencies such as our local Superior Home Nursing were super. They came to my parents home to assist them several times a week. Then "Meals on Wheels" was a godsend. I spent the nights with them and helped on weekends, events, etc. Thanks for your story!! Loved it!! --Nancy Kangas, Wakefield, MI (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

My sister has been the primary care giver for my soon to be 97 y/o father who is a Holocaust survivor. She has had care givers to come to her home to tend to his needs but it is difficult and just recently he has less physical ability to stand and walk to his wheelchair. He has outlived our Mother by over 20 years and he lived on his own walking to the Atlantic Ocean and swimming daily till he was 93 y/o. He was diagnosed with Benign Prostate disease and then chronic renal failure and senile dementia. He does not communicate very often but at times "a light goes on" and he will speak with my sister and her husband. He does not recgonize his immediate family. He has outlived all of his friends as he said he would. My sister has no nursing degree (I do) and I am awed at her meeting his physical needs as since he has come to live with her she has to catherize him twice daily and bathe him. She has learned lessons to provide him care that just amaze me! I watched your newscast and you are fortunate that you can afford to keep your father in a wonderful facility and that he has the ablity to walk and communicate. It is watching my father deteriorate that makes me so sad. I appreciate you sharing your story and the reality is that our parents are now ours to care for as they cared for us. --Anonymous , Columbia, SC (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

Although my parents are still healthy and able to take care of themselves I have watched them take care of their parents and the questions always go through my head when will it be my turn to do the same I have watched my dad "steal" his parents car when we discovered they had Alzhimers and watched my mom drop down to a 4 day work week so she could give her dad one day off and take care her mother. My dad's parents have since passed away and my mom's mom passed away last Decemeber. Its just my grandfather now and while he is pretty active we would perfer him not to shovel, and mow the lawn, etc but well you know how it is. It is interesting to see my parents become three sets caretakers. They are caught between being parents, grandparents to my niece and nephew and caretakers to my grandfather. Thank you for making me rediscover how wonderful my parents are. --Meg Goodstein (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

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