Trading Places: Personal stories from viewers

Submitted by Lois Perrone The picture was taken one year ago on her 97th birthday as she modeled her new scarf, one of her birthday presents.

Valentine's Day is an extra-special day of celebration for our family. In 1981, when I was 5 months pregnant with our first child, my husband and I moved into a new home. Not only did we get a lovely home, but we also got a lovely neighbor, Estella Erny, whom we lovingly refer to as "Sis". Sis is a widow whose only child died shortly after birth. She quickly became our adopted grandmother. Spending time with her on a daily basis was a priority. When my two girls were small, upon coming home from school, our first stop each day was her living room for milk and cookies and a little time with Sis and her cat, Buffy. Of course, holidays, birthdays, and special occasions were always shared as well. Fifteen years ago, Sis moved into an assisted living facility about five miles from our home. Her warm smile and sparking blue eyes, as well as wonderful personality quickly helped endear her to all the residents in her new home. Sis is fiercely independent and moving to her new home helped her maintain that independence. She is involved in many activities, especially bingo every Thursday and Saturday nights and playing billiards (not pool) several mornings each week. A highlight for her was when she won a silver medal in shuffleboard. She is so busy, that when we plan to visit, we have to call ahead to make sure she is home. Walking around the building on those visits, we are constantly greeted by the other residents whom she knows on a first-name basis. So why is Valentine Day so special? February 14 is Sissy's birthday. And this year she will be 98 years young. We will be celebrating together by having dinner with Sis, nine of her friends and her niece and nephew. Plans started several weeks ago; party favors readied on Sunday, balloons purchased, dinner reservations made, and invitations extended. Although her sight and hearing have become impaired, and her step is a bit slower, Sis' heart remains as big as ever. Her love for life, her Lord, and friends and family have kept her young. She has been a blessing to our family. We hope and pray for continued health and appreciate each moment we have with her. We are already starting plans for her 100th birthday, and whether we share that day together in person or in spirit, we will always remember the many special Valentine Days we have had together with our loving friend and special lady, Sis. --Lois Perrone, Tampa, FL (submitted on Feb. 14, 2007)

Submitted by Dennis Caron caring for the aging parent

My mother-in-law cared for her husband of fifty-one years until the morning of his death. Mama Davis had a history of breast cancer, and the stress of caring for Papa Davis weakened her immune system. Mama had 3 daughters (including my wife, Betty Jo), so our families were fortunate in being able to take turns with her care. I'm a psychologist specialising in geriatrics, so I can appreciate the sacrifice middle-aged family members make in sharing the 24/7 care of a well-loved parent. Our five nieces and one nephew were allowed to be present when Mama died, and this was a positive experience: two of our nieces are now in nursing school. Mama Davis would have been proud. --Joe Roberts, Jackson, MS (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

Brian, I watch your Nightly News every ay, your story about your aging father made me cry. I have an elderly mother that is very fragile, she is 75 and lives in Boston. I live in Florida for the past 3 years. It breaks my heart because I don't get to see as often, and I know she needs my help. One of the ways that help my mother, and I thank moder technology is that I shop for my mom on line. Since I can't do her grocery shopping and knowing that she cannot go shopping, or even carry heavy objects, I shop for her from a local grocery supermarket near her home, and these people called "pea-pot" delivery her groceries. I know that shopping on line is not cheap but at least I have peace of mind that my mom is eating what she likes and doesn't have to worry about going outside in the cold or bad weather. Occassionally I get a call from her doctors and let me know that she is ok. However, it breaks my heart that those of us that sacrifice and don't have the financial resources to help our parents as we would like to care. It is amazing what our parents go through everytime that they have a doctor's visit or just to ask questions about government benefits - our parents get the run about and there's not enough personnel to assist the elderly even just to fill out paper work from the various agencies in order for them to receive any medical assistance. I thank you for sharing your story and like you there are many in the same predicament. --Anonymous , Kissimmee, FL (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

My mother-in-law cared for her husband of fifty-one years until the morning of his death. Mama Davis had a history of breast cancer, and the stress of caring for Papa Davis weakened her immune system. Mama had 3 daughters (including my wife, Betty Jo), so our families were fortunate in being able to take turns with her care. I'm a psychologist specialising in geriatrics, so I can appreciate the sacrifice middle-aged family members make in sharing the 24/7 care of a well-loved parent. Our five nieces and one nephew were allowed to be present when Mama died, and this was a positive experience: two of our nieces are now in nursing school. Mama Davis would have been proud. --Joe Roberts, Jackson, MS (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

My father is 85 and my mother is 83 years old. They live in a retirement community that offers both independant and assisted living. They enjoy the freedom of their independant apartment. I have major concerns about my future as a baby boomer growing old. With the increased numbers of us all approching retirement, will there be enough of these type facillities for us? I think they need to start NOW and build as many as they can so we can all have a place to live with peace of mind. --Mary Crowner, South Bend, IN (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

Like so many families, we're spread out over the country. I, however, am my mother's only child, so it falls on my shoulders to be "the one" who is responsible. My mother is 90, very independent, very fashionable, very stubborn so that her only child will always be 12 and "need to be taught". So, it's VERY hard for me. I've left my home and come to Florida. I've rented an apartment in the same building where my mother lives, and I'm here for the duration. I felt I had to do this because her neighbors in the building all have active lives, their own responsibilities, and I can't ask them to do provide care for her. I don't know how to do this -- how hard do I push her to eat, exercise, get back out on the golf course? --Jeri Savoy, Fort Lauderdale, FL (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

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