Trading Places: Personal stories from viewers

Submitted by Linda Bristol This is a picture of my mom, Helen L. McDaniel made in March at my granddaughters birthday.

Brian, what a great idea, and at such a great time for me. I am 57 years old and just had to bury my mom who was 85 years old. She has lived with me for the last 28 years and helped me raise my 2 daughters. What a lovely southern lady with a 7th grade education, but with the knowledge of any college graduate. I could not have made it without her. She developed dementia about 3 years ago and got to the point that she could not even dress herself. She got really bad in September and became bed fast. I was fortunate (depending on how you look at it) to have been laid off from my job in mid September and was able to draw severance pay through the end of the year. This allowed me to care for her at home for the first 3 weeks and then be able to visit her twice a day when I had to put her in a nursing home. She passed away on November 26th. My two daughters and one of my granddaughters were with her and held her hand until the end. We all have something we believe in, and my mother taught me to believe in God. I know that she left Tampa, Florida on November 26th with me holding her hand and went to be with our Maker in Heaven. We are all having a real hard time right now, but it really helps being able to see other people who are caring for their elderly parents. I can only say, cherish every moment, its hard work, its difficult to change your parent's diapers, but you gotta remember they did the same for you. May God bless you Brian! Keep up the good work. --Linda Bristol, Tampa, FL (submitted on Feb. 14, 2007)

Submitted by Kim Melvin MOm awith us at my daughter LIndsay's graduation.

Thank you for uniting us all who are caring for our parent in one way or another. My cousins and I have reconnected as we care for our moms who are sisters. Virginia, Barbara, and Norma grew up in New Jersey in the 1920's and 1930's. All have lost their first husbands. Ginny married a second time and Barbara married a third time. In the last years of their lives, they were separated from one end of the country to another. Barbara just passed away last month in Oregon, Ginny has returned to New Jersey and Norma, my mom, now lives in Florida. She moved here about 10 years ago to be near me and my family. Mom had a stroke 2 1/2 years ago and I have had to close up her house and dispose of her life-long possessions as she is unable to care for herseldf any longer. Many things are still in my garage because I can't part with them; kitchen items that remind me of my childhood, her coffee table, now in my livingroom, the Chevy van that I now drive was hers. She is in a wonderful nursing and rehab facility and I bring her to my house every weekend for the day. She paralyzed on her right side and unable to speak the words that are in her head, although she has no problem understanding what is going on. I am an only child and so glad to be able to care for her as she did all my life. We laugh all the time. Now my cousins and I share stories of our moms and have reconnected our lives by email . --Kim Melvin, Ocala, FL (submitted on Feb. 14, 2007)

Submitted by Anonymous my mom

My parents have needed care since 1996. In 1996 my father passed away from cancer. His dying wish was to pass away at home. My mother, aunt, sister and myself took care of him the last 6 months. He was bed ridden, required oxygen, bronchial treatments and was fed through a stomach tube. Since 2000 my mother was diagnosed with progressive dementia. She was in assisted living for four months and still desired to be with the family. She has lived with me since. I had home care four days a week and my 85 year old aunt filled in on Fridays and helped on weekends. My aunt lived by herself, cut her lawn, shoveled her snow, cleaned her gutters (until age 89) and would drive the two miles to my house. We celebrated my aunt’s 90th birthday in October of 2004 were she continued to care for my mom. In December 2004 my aunt experienced heart problems and was buried on St Valentine’s Day in 2005. I am a 47 year old single man, never married, who travels for work 3 to 5 months out of the year. My mother has 8 hour home care services 6 ½ days a week. My sister, brother in law and nephew fill in at nights when I travel. My mother has long passed the days of roaming, confusion and help with bathroom stops at night. My mother has had total care for what now seems forever. She has to be woken up in the morning, washed, dressed and fed. She is taken to the rest room on regular stops and rarely communicates hunger and thirst. We have been through the hospital stays, constipation problems, a nasty bed sore on her heal and sedated dental care. My prime care giver (4 days a week) has been with us for 6 years and is now over 60. A lift was installed in my mom’s room last year so the caregiver can get my mother on the commode and into a wheelchair. My mother can barely stand. She will be 84 in April. We all promise to give our parents the best care we can afford and I am here to see it happens. Mother Theresa said “you could not pay me to do this job” and I fully understand and concur. --Anonymous , Livonia, MI (submitted on Feb. 14, 2007)

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