Trading Places: Personal stories from viewers

In 2002 we were trying to take of my husbands parents in Chicago and us in Florida. Tried to get them to move here, he wanted his independance and to stay in their house of 60 years. 2003 was not a good year his mother had a stroke July 2003 and his dad's parkinson's was getting much worse, plus we had some dementintion going on too. They had a live in care giver -- early 2004 he got very sick and ended up in the hospital and passed away. We brought my mother-in-law home with us after his death. She was very confused and really not sure only that she was with her son and being cared for. Later that month in May she started showing signs of parkinsons -- I had to put my career on hold. Then she became completely bed ridden which became 24/7. Later into year 2005 we got help from Tidewell Hospice. They really help a great deal -- it is very hard to ask for help with your parents. She passed 2005 Thanksgiving. My mother cared for her mother 18 months with cancer until she passed. She has to care for my father who has Parkinson's and has had it for 12 years. Her father is still living at 95, he also needs to be cared for, but with my father it is 24/7 and she feels so guilty that she can not take care of him too -- he is in a nursing home. I can see slowly that mother is running out of steam and she is now having health issues -- soon we will have to take them in or I will have to go to them -- although she is so independent like my husbands father -- never wanting any help and everything is fine and wanting to to stay in their own home. Thank goodness my brother just lives down the street from them -- so I feel alittle more comfortable -- still I am an 1 1/2 away from them. We have seen our parents take care their parents and that is the way we were raised. Soon it will be our turn. Question what about our children in todays world -- so much different -- we all baby boomers should be saving and need to take out long term care for our later years. Really has been worth it and we would never change a thing -- they need so much love and care and we are the only ones they have left. Debbie Florida We are living to long!

My Dad was Elwood Clark, everyone's Gym Teacher for generations in Armonk, NY, a small hamlet about 45 miles North of NYC. After a stellar athletic career, which included lettering in 3 different sports at San Jose State College and playing for the renowned "House of David" Travelling Baseball Club, Elwood Clark then served as an Ensign in the Navy, and met his future wife while stationed at the Brookly Naval Yard. In 1945, after marrying his beloved wife, Helen, he moved to Armonk to start a career and raise his family. He was not only the Physical Education Teacher in the Byram Hills School District for over 35 years, he also served as the long-term Recreation Director in that little town, and began the Little-League and Summer Day Camp programs. There is a Little-League field in Armonk still named after him. After retiring in the mid-80s to help my Mom with her successful art-career, Dad stayed active in local politics and was an active member, (including Past-Commander) in the Americal Legion, Post 1097. He was known by just about everyone in this small community, and after losing his sight to macular-degeneration in the late 90's, he relied on my Mom to assist with his daily activities. Unfortunately, when she passed away from Cancer in '98, the family had to decide what to do with Dad, since his two children were hundreds of miles away. However, just like Tim Russert's Dad, Elwood Clark wanted no part of moving to an Assisted Living Arrangement, and with the help of his many friends and wonderful neighbors, along with a visiting Health-Care worker, and weekly Housekeeper, he was able to remain in the house and town that he loved for so many years. He had so many friends in that community that wanted to stop by and see Dad, that he would literally have them on a schedule, which was always posted on top of his TV. The entire week was completely filled with his loyal support-group of former students, fellow-legionnaires, wonderful neighbors, and family friends stopping by to read Dad the newspaper and mail, fetch prescriptions and bring meals for him, and mainly just sit and talk about the old days... During those four years living alone before he passed away in '02, Dad even organized the town's "Helping Hands" Committee, which still delivers meals and other assistance to home-bound residents in the Armonk community. Even though he was totally blind for those remaining years, Elwood Clark never complained about his health issues or blindness, and he was able to live out his life exactly the way he wanted to, in a familiar setting with family and friends surrounding him.

Ever since I was a little girl, I always told my parents I'd take care of them in their old age. I would never put them in a nursing home. And I never did. We used humor and laughter instead of feeling sorry for ourselves. Some of my best memories are of times when one or the other had fallen and couldn't get up. We were lucky they never broke any bones. One time, before I had a cell phone, I came home and found Mom laying in the middle of the living room. Dad didn't have the strength anymore to get her up and he just didn't know how to help her. Well, he had gone into the garage and gotten the car creeper, the flat board on wheels to get under a car, and managed to get Mom onto it. I guess he figured if she was on that maybe he could roll her to something for her to grab hold of to help get up. Well, I came home, and me and Dad grabbed her on both sides and got her up in one try. Then one time my Mom, who never made phone calls, called me at work and said Dad had lost his balance and fell. I asked if he had broken anything and she said he hadn't. He had been able to prop himself up against the pantry door, but couldn't get up. So I drove home, not in a hurry because everybody was okay. I walked in and saw that Dad looked fine, and wasn't bleeding or anything. Mom had gotten on the dining room chair, which had wheels, and had rolled up right next to Dad and was holding his hand and stroking his arm and shoulder in a loving way. It was all she could do. Just keep him calm until I got there. It really was a beautiful sight that I will never forget. Even though taking care of my folks all alone, 24/7, was real hard, I would never change a minute of it. They are both gone now, but lived way into their 80's, and I miss them everyday.