Trading Places: Personal stories from viewers

I have folllowing your stories on trading places . But I feel like my family is rather unique. You see My parents are the main caregivers for my grandmother . My parents are in their upper 70s and grandma will be 105 next month. My husband and I care for our grandson about half the time but at lest a couple of times a year we travel to Az. from IA. to relive my parents and care for grandma, also this gives us time to help Mom and Dad the help they need with things thay can no longer do. --Frances Nurton, Carter Lake, IA (submitted on Feb. 19, 2007)

I ame 48 years old. I have two girls ages 8 and 7. I have a mother in law who is 83 and my parents who are 83 and 84. All live independently. My parents live in an apartment and my mother in law in her own home. I go through what I call peaks and valleys. In January I delt with one having a heart attack, another had a fall that landed them in the hospital and another had a skin cancer scare. This on top of a 8 yr old who had a concussion from a fall at school and I had a M.R.S.A infection in my leg. This I call a valley. Right now everyone is on the road to recovery and I call this a peak. Many a day I drop the kids at school and go to my parents and take care of them and then head to the hospital to work. I have long lost me time but it is a choice I make because my parents were there for me when I was little, I want to be there for me when they need me. I am living the sandwich generation...trying to find a balance in everyones life. --Theresa Wagner, Madison, WI (submitted on Feb. 19, 2007)

Submitted by Barbara Barlow Photo of Steve, Beth, and Mable (our mother).

My story is dedicated to my sister, Beth, and her husband, Steve. I believe the selfless efforts of Beth, Steve, and their two children are the primary reason our 74 year old mother is alive today. In 1995, Mable, our mother, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. After recovering from chemotherapy, mother returned to her home in Indiana. In 1998, mother was diagnosed with cancer again, this time on her pelvis. Doctors removed the malignant tumors and soon afterwards mother’s health seemed near normal. Eventually, mother returned to her home, where she lived alone. Suddenly, mother’s health spiraled downward, leading to a series of falls that contributed to a broken hip in 2002. Mother underwent surgery to repair her hip. The surgery significantly reduced mother’s mobility and eliminated her ability to live alone. Although mother has seven children, none of us were in a position to provide the watchful care mother now needed. In 2002, my younger sister, Beth, and her husband, Steve were blessed with the ability and resources to move our mother from Indiana to their home in Georgia. Beth and Steve performed all the labor and absorbed the cost to convert the basement of their home into an apartment designed for our disabled mother. This living arrangement gave mother some sense of independence while under the watchful eye of Beth, Steve, and their two children. Between the four of them, they provided 100 percent of mother’s daily care, which included transportation to medical appointments, grocery shopping for her, and ordering and picking up prescriptions. While mother lived with Beth and her family, mother’s quality of life improved and I believe it lengthened her years on earth. In 2005, Beth’s job relocated her to Tennessee. After moving her family and mother to Tennessee, Beth was not able to purchase a home that enabled mother to enjoy the same level of comfort as their home in Georgia. Beth was forced to move mother to a subsidized living facility. Despite working 12-hour days at her job, Beth checks on mother everyday. Beth ensures mother takes her medication, eats dinner with her, and washes mother’s laundry. I and the other siblings wish we could provide for our mother the way that Beth does, but for a myriad of reasons, we’re not able to. I thank God everyday for the unwavering sacrifices of Beth, Steve, and their two children. Their commitment to improving mother’s welfare helps keep our mother alive. This is why I dedicated this story to my sister, Beth, and her family. --Barbara Barlow, Riverview, FL (submitted on Feb. 19, 2007)

Submitted by Nicholia Arwood Picture of my mom and I.

When I seen this story on TV I thought that I should let you know about my story. My parents have always thought of others before themselves. Ever since I was in the Sixth grade in school my mom (Nicky) has been sick. But still maintained her lifestyle and would never let any one person see that she was sick. When I entered the 8th grade she got really sick and couldn’t keep up with our family restaurants and family life. Since we were young and didn’t know how to run the businesses we lost everything. For years we had people coming in the house to help with her since I was in school and my brothers, Dad had to work to be able to put food on the table and pay bills. When we would come home from school or work we would have to do double the work because the people just let her go without eating or going to the bathroom meaning she would be lying in her own bodily fluids. So ever since we fired those people I have decided as being the youngest child that I needed to be the one to take care of her since there was no trust of others to do the job. We were told many times since my oldest nephew was born that she wasn’t going to make it but she made it through my nephew graduating in 2003. But in spite of all this my parents still took in kids off of the streets because they believed that their life isn’t as bad as those kids who didn’t have a family that wanted them. On December 23, 2003 I remember sitting at the hospital with my Dad waiting for the surgeons to come out to tell us that they got the pace maker removed correctly since they had a part of it break off and punchier her left lung. Now what I haven’t told you that was my birthday, I can remember sitting there and crying so hard that I hated Christmas because I thought that I was going to lose my best friend on my birthday. On October 8, 2006 my mother stopped breathing on us so we rushed her to the hospital. Well, after hearing the doctors at one hospital telling me that my mother had no life and to just let her die, I just couldn't let someone that cared for me my whole life or full of life to die when they have their life to live since she just turned 60 yrs old on the 1st of October. So I prayed to God on what I was suppose to do. I asked him if I was to quit my job to take care of my parents how would I take care of my financial responsibility, he told me that he would take care of us just believe and follow him. Yes, it has been very hard financially on my family but it is totally worth being able to spend time with my parents and just knowing that I am able to be there for them 100% of the time without worrying or being stressed about a job and what is happening with them when I am at work.My parents are very upset with me that I quit my job when I have a family of my own to take care since they feel that I shouldn’t lose my entire life just for them but they are the one’s that have showed all of us that our lives are not as bad as some people out there in the world. --Nicholia Arwood, Redford, MI (submitted on Feb. 19, 2007)

Submitted by Tami Hritzay Bill and Betty standing at the old train station on their anniversity 5 years ago.

I decided about 10 years ago that if I ever needed to I'd move in with my parents to care for them. I had worked in a nursing home for 5 1/2 years and I know that even though they are quite nice, there still is no place like home. Sept. 2005 I moved in with them because of their health. I'm very close to my parents because at the age of 8 I had bone cancer, now 41 years later I wearing artifical leg 15. They were there to care for me, so now I'll gladly take my turn. My mother and I had a ministry of singing Folk and Country Gospel for 31 years and until her death in Dec. 2005 at age 81 we still continued singing. I'm an artist, I paint murals and teach art. So throughout this past year I've been able to take my father 86 with me to work on them and to the classes I teach. He is glad I don't make him sing! Caring for my parents has been a journey I would never trade. I have been the one humbled and blessed. --Tami Hritzay, Springboro, PA (submitted on Feb. 19, 2007)

Submitted by Karol Kurtz Our mom Barbara Hummon and her caregiver our angel Lorraine Moore.

We have been lucky enough to have been caregivers for my mom for the last six years. The years have been challenging to say the least, but also filled with a lot of love and joy. For the past two years we have been blessed to have an angel named Lorraine care for mom during the day while we go to work. They say angels walk the earth and know it to be true. Lorraine not only provides mom with loving care and friendship, but also dignity and respect which is so often lacking in the care of the elderly. Even during the most stressful times she has a smile on her face and love in her heart. We would be lost without her and wish there was more we could do to thank her for everything she does for us. A big thank you on the nightly news would be just great as we all watch every night. My mom may be an older woman, but she still thinks Brian Williams is the nicest looking man on tv. Thank you for your story and remind your audience to offer and provide assistance to caregivers - even when they say they don't need it. A kind word, hug, bouquet of flowers, or even a visit to the patient all go a long way in a caregivers world. --Karol Kurtz, Hobe Sound, FL (submitted on Feb. 19, 2007)

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