Trading Places: Personal stories from viewers

After nursing my father before his death 18 months ago I decided, at 47, to go back to school and train as a CNA because I saw a need for people who truly cared about the welfare and dignity of those unable to care for themselves. Well, now I'm working in the field and caring for the elderly with Alzheimers, dementia, stroke, etc. and I see that there may be a bigger reason why I'm doing this work. I live in Southern Utah and here there are no regulations about patient limits to CNAs. We have around 40 residents in the wing I work on and on a good day we will have 4 CNAs working, however much of the time we only have 3 and sometimes just two. My day starts at 6am with waking residents up, changing briefs, dressing them and getting them ready for breakfast...as you can imagine there's little time for the caring touch and the whole thing is just one big rush. I wanted to do this job to care for people but without limits to how many people we care for the care is greatly lacking. Some of the residents have only rare visits from family members and they really need their caregivers to be able to spend more time with them so they are not just left alone in their rooms, sometimes to die that way. Many of us don't even take the breaks we are supposed to have because we don't have the time if we really care about the residents....it's almost always more important to spend those few precious minutes talking with a lonely person or trying to get someone to take some needed nutrition rather than take the break we really need. I typically work a twelve hour shift and force myself to take one 15 minute break and a half hour lunch just for my own health.....and I make $9.50 an hour. I'm writing because I need help, not for myself, but I need help to get Utah to change it's laws. We need patient limits in long term care facilities so that we can actually care for the residents in them. Without sufficient staff residents are left laying in their own urine and feces for much longer than they should be, they're left alone in their rooms disoriented and scared, they feel neglected, useless and talk about wanting to die. This is not what any caring person wants to see happen to their elderly relatives and those of us working in the care profession are trying to prevent these abuses but the legalities are not in our favor. Please, please, pleas shine your light on the staffing levels at long term care facilities in Utah...they desperately need to be changed. And please DO NOT believe that these facilities pass the state regulations without a great deal of 'slight of hand' or as I told the administration at my facility "fraud". Those of us working to care for the elderly and ill need your help! --Mikki Ferrugiaro, St. George, UT (submitted on Feb. 28, 2007)

Submitted by Guy Seghetti Doris Seghetti, age 92 Christmas 2007 Corvallis, Oregon

Dear Nightly News My mother celebrated her 92nd birthday in December. Getting there this past year was a tough one. A urinary tract infection the previous Christmas put her on a roller coaster of health issues which saw her in and out of the hospital and nursing home; a nursing home which tended to over medicate and play the insurance game. When they determined she was making no progress the insurance quit paying. At that point we, my sister and I, were faced with all decision and angst you have covered in your reports. Two things you didn’t cover was the “spend down” one must do to be eligible for medicaid and the bureaucracy that entails and foster care. In March, after a life time of living on her own, we moved her into a foster care home. In Oregon, this is an in-home care facility. In my mother’s case, they take no more than five patients, so with the care provider and family the ratio is almost one to one. Plus with the college age children at home the patients are made to feel more like part of the family instead of part of an institution. It was the best alternative to an assisted living situation where she would have no doubt just sat in her room with no interaction. It has give us a tremendous peace of mind. Like a prize fighter who has been knocked down too many times, mom’s health set backs haven’t allowed her to bounce back at a 100%. She’s healthy, still has her wit and sense of humor but her dementia makes her live pretty much in the moment. A complete turnaround from when she was was in the nursing home. --Guy Seghetti, Roseburg, OR (submitted on Feb. 26, 2007)

This is not a story, but a slightly different direction. Your series has been interesting, however, what about those of us growing older without children to assist us? My wife and I are in our mid 70's and still active, living in the same house for over 40 years. Someday this will end. How? When? What will we face, together or separately? Without the kids you show helping it's kinda scary. This could be another direction in your growing older series. --Charles Krause, Phoenix, AZ (submitted on Feb. 27, 2007)

I did not expect to be 45 years old and taking care of my 74 year old mother who suffers from dementia and congestive heart failure. Because of my mother's dementia, she does not believe anything is wrong with her, and thus, my siblings and I have spent the last five months taking care of her needs, including cooking, cleaning, and bathing. I would drive to her apartment, where she lived by herself, on my lunch break from work to check on her. It was always extremely difficult for me to drive back to work and leave my mother by herself. Exhausted and crying, I would say a prayer that her situation would somehow work out. After numerous emergency room visits, lengthy ICU stays and having to sign a "Do not resuscitate" form, my siblings and I were finally able to get our mother to agree to stay in a nursing home. We were pleased that this hurdle was finally crossed, but our attitudes dropped once we found out about the excessive cost of her elder care. Surviving only on monthly social security checks and Medicare, my mother does not own a house or a car, nor does she have any bank accounts, thus, my siblings and I have all had to pitch in to pay for her nursing care. Although the situation is difficult, I can somewhat relax knowing my mother is well taken care of by trained nurses and not sitting in her apartment by herself. From these experiences I have come to the conclusion that my husband and I will not be a burden on our three children. My mother did not have the capability to get her affairs in order, but I do, and I will have everything arranged when the time comes that I am an elderly person. I only wish that caring for an elderly parent was easier financially, medically, and mentally. --Vicki Wisner, Marengo, IL (submitted on Feb. 27, 2007)

Three years ago, I was a working librarian, an interim library director at a community college. NOW, I am a caregiver to both my elderly mother and my husband who has terminal prostate cancer. Some days it is a contest to see how many doctors' appointments I can juggle. I am continually tired and unable to do many things that in the past gave me a lot of pleasure, such as reading books or sewing. I am glad that both of them have good medical care, but where is the help for the caregiver?? Who can I talk to and share with? --Anonymous , TX (submitted on Feb. 27, 2007)

Submitted by Anonymous My mother and me on my 58th birthday.

We convinced my mother 89 to go to assisted living in Sept 2006. She did OK but no as well as we had hoped. She shortly found herself in "intermediate care" and the people there did a good job but she was not happy and always wanted to go home. My wife and I discussed the situation and my wife, a school teacher, said she would even take time off to care for my mother. I searched the internet to see if I could find anyway to get her care a home. I work on computers with a company in Columbus and live there 125 miles away from mom's house. I convinced my boss I could do my job from my mother's house and I found a care giver to come daily 9-5 so I can work. I've been doing this for 5 weeks and it is working well. We telephone conference and work on the computer remotely. I soon will have a care giver stay one night a week so I will be able to work 2 days in the office and also sleep in my own bed one night a week. Mom is much happier and getting one on one attention that she needs. She is pre-Alzheimer and some days doesn’t know who I am. One night I was telling her "I'll be here for you." "I'll take care of you Mom" and she said "and GOD will take care of you" --Anonymous , Gahanna, OH (submitted on Feb. 27, 2007)

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