Trading Places: Personal stories from viewers

I thank you for these stories and the information. I wish you were running them about 11 years ago. My parents were always the older ones when I was in grade school so I knew we'd be taking care of them sooner than our friends would be taking care of their parents. My mother died a week after her first grandchild was born, she was 72. I spent 4 years helping my Dad to stay at home even though it would have been better if he'd have chosen to move on his own. I don't think a day went by in the next 5 years that he wasn't angry at us for moving him into assisted living. I wish he could have chosen the move on his own and I wish he would have moved closer to my brother or myself. You just get a new normal and do the best you can with what you have to work with. Sure, there's a lot I would do differently,(my Dad died at 85). But when you have 3 small children and a parent half way across the state you can't do it all and be fair to everyone. Now you can just Google for the information you need. 11 years ago I didn't even have a computer let alone know what Google was. With your series I know you are helping thousands of people get the answers they need for their families now. Thanks. --Anonymous , Olmsted Falls, OH (submitted on Feb. 20, 2007)

Submitted by Denise Perkins This is my grandmother with most of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren this past christmas. I have the blue snowman sweater on, off to the right side of the picture.

I have been watching your report since it has started with much interest, in that our situation is somewhat different but all to familiar to those you are airing. In September my grandmother who is 91 agreed to go into assisted living. Our mother, her daughter passed away on June 20, 2004 from breast cancer and I was left as her primary care giver. I am 44 years old have three children, work a full time job and co-own a trucking business with my husband. When my mother passed away I found myself wondering how I got here and how I was going to keep her at home. She did ok at first by herself but then she started to fall more and more at home. I talked her into letting someone come into the house a couple of days a week to help her out, take her to the store and take her to get her hair done. This worked for awhile then I noticed that she wasn't taking her pills or eating enough to keep up her strength. This went on for the next several months, she lost weight, until one evening I talked to her on the phone and she just didn't seem herself. I went right over to her house and found her sitting on her couch just staring into space. I called 911 after I realized that she wasn't responding to what I was saying to her and later after talking to her I found out that she didn't remember that night at all. She may have suffered a mild stroke that evening and it was decided that she needed some physical therapy before she could return home. She went through the therapy for three weeks and towards the end I was called in for a meeting. The therapists looked me square in the eye and told me that she was a risk to herself if she went home and that she either needed to stay in the nursing home where she was presently at or she needed 24 hour care or assisted living. Boy did someone just suck the air out of that room or what, I made a promise to my grandmother who I love as much as life itself and they told me I had to put her somewhere other than her own home. I gave it a couple of days and with the help of a couple of my sibilings and much agonizing we talked to my grandmother about assisted living. I found a place that she could have her cat, her own space and her own things, what else I thought could she want? We took her to see the place, she was quiet, but she said she would think about it, she did agree. The next day she called and said she wasn't going, she said she didn't fit in, they were all to high class for her. I have never raised my voice to my grandmother but I did that day. I had a stroke in Novemember of 2005 and I told her that I needed to know that she was in a safe place and that I needed to take some of the pressure off of me and that going to assisted living would do that. I'm happy to say that she is in assisted living at Chapel Ridge in Bradford, PA and is doing very well. She looks better than she has looked since my mother has passed away, takes her pills on a schedule and eats healthy. There is hope! --Denise Perkins, Bradford, PA (submitted on Feb. 20, 2007)

Submitted by Julio Colon Attached is a picture of my mom and the "kids" at my wedding. From left to right, Mel, my brother Nelson, my mother Catalina, my wife Venessa and daughter Gabriela, me, and my sister Andy.

I want to commend you for your series about taking care of our elders. I have always thought that we should take care of our elders, because one day we will be in their shoes and who is going to take care of us. My story is about my sister Mel. Mel gave up everything to take care of my mom who just turned 81 years young. It is a blessing from God that my mother is in good health and is happy where she is at. I thank God every day for that. I also thank God for Mel. She is a godsent. She is a person who asks for little to none and expects nothing. We are nine siblings and one is deceased and they all feel the same way I do. Mel is a person who does everything for my mother, takes her to doctor's appointments, takes her shopping, makes sure she takes her medicine and gets her meals. I only wish that we could help her more than we could do. It is a hard life for them living in Puerto Rico and not have much. The daily necessities for my sister are just to take care of my mother. Sometimes dealing with an older person may be difficult, at times they tend to be cranky. During an incident during Thanksgiving my mother became upset with my sister. I reassured her that she was our light in this situation and has taken good care of our mother. Every day I thank God for my sister. --Julio Colon, Punta Gorda, FL (submitted on Feb. 19, 2007)

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