Seattle’s bad singers rain down on ‘Idol’

‘I don’t have to bust my butt’
Even most of the people who made it through in Seattle didn’t have the look of the traditional “Idol” success stories, though they did sound a lot better than the crew that made it from Minneapolis.

This was the third time Thomas Daniels had tried out for the show. He said his attitude is that making it to the finals would be good because “this way I don’t have to bust my butt — just hop on the elevator and say, ‘Hey America, vote for me!’” That sound viewers heard afterward was a million struggling musicians throwing their instruments at the TV screen in disgust.

Then again, wanting to be famous without having to work very hard is truly the American dream for most viewers. Daniels became the first Seattle contestant to advance, though he may be shocked and saddened at how hard he’ll have to work if he actually hopes to win.

Blake Lewis showed up with spiked hair and a professed talent for beatboxing, normally a recipe for a beat-down from the judges. But after he demonstrated that skill, he sang an over-the-top version of Seal’s “Crazy” that showed the judges enough to earn him a golden ticket.

A sister-brother combo whose father was a classically trained musician in India both made it through. Shyamali Malakar went first and sang a nice “Summertime,” but the judges liked her little brother Sanjaya better. That should make for some interesting household dynamics as they prepare for Hollywood.

Anna Kearns was the tallest of the auditioners — at 6-foot-7 in heels, she made the already diminutive Ryan Seacrest look like Mini-Me. She sang Aretha Franklin’s “Respect,” a choice that’s usually fatal because it encourages people to yell. Indeed, Kearns was loud enough to shatter windows across the city, but made it through anyway. Perhaps the fact that she was almost inducted into the Air Force before being diagnosed with a weak heart got her the courtesy military trip to Hollywood.

Then there was Jordin Sparks. She doesn’t need this competition to avoid the breadlines — her father is former New York Giants cornerback Phillipi Sparks. While Simon was only moderately impressed, Randy and Paula gushed over her, making her the latest “best 16-year-old contestant ever!” Of course, that designation didn’t keep Lisa Tucker around for very long last year.

The biggest disagreement came when Rudy Cardenas finished. Simon brushed him off with a quick no, and Paula reacted in her usual calm way: “Are you kidding?!! One million percent yes!!!!!” That left it up to Randy, and since Cardenas paid homage to the judge’s Journey roots by singing “Open Arms,” the outcome was preordained.

That may be the last time “American Idol,” Seattle and “Open Arms” may be heard in the same breath for quite some time. The judges don’t look either to return, and after all the name-calling, the city probably isn’t eager to bring Simon and company back for another bashing session anyway.

Craig Berman is a writer in Washington, D.C.

MORE FROM AMERICAN IDOL

Happy birthday, Simon, the best mean Brit ever

Happy birthday, Simon, the best mean Brit ever ‘Idol Gives Back’ returns to ‘American Idol’ Ellen brings EveryFan sensibility to ‘Idol’ Paula Abdul wishes Ellen luck on ‘Idol’   Add American Idol headlines to your news reader: