Midwest proves to be Midworst on ‘Idol’

Calm day in the Midwest
Despite the long day of overmatched auditioners, there were comparatively few meltdowns. In fact, one of Simon’s favorite phrases seemed to be “I think people will like you.” Considering he normally doesn’t seem to care what anyone thinks of anything, maybe he was a little happier than normal after getting some good deals at the Mall of America.

Randy did take some cheap shots at voice coach Stephen Horst when he blew his audition, saying “I wouldn’t take vocal lessons from you. I wouldn't tell anyone to take vocal lessons from you, coming in singing like that.” Even Simon said he wasn’t planning to get that personal.

Jason Anderson sang, juggled and danced for the judges, and did none of them well. He seemed calm when the judges rejected him, then dropped f-bombs like they were going out of style as soon as he was out of the room, before breaking down in tears. Anderson is a good example of why 16 is often way too young for people to be trying out for the show.

I love a man in uniform
The judges may have their nasty streaks, but they’re still suckers for soldiers in uniform. That seems more than fair — anyone willing to face hostile forces one day and Simon’s barbs the next deserves every chance at success.

Jarrod Fowler came to Minneapolis the winner of the “Reagan Idol” award, given for winning an “Idol”-like competition on the USS Reagan. His version of Rascal Flatts’ “Bless the Broken Road” made him sound like he was more scared by the judges than anything he’s seen in the Navy, but he got the nod anyway.

And his story paled in comparison to Rachel Jenkins. Not only is she an army reservist, but her husband is a sergeant currently serving in Baghdad. She had all the intangibles going for her, and her voice was good enough to tip the balance.

But contestants didn’t need to be soldiers to have the backstories that help nudge hopefuls to Hollywood. Sixteen year-old Denise Jackson said she was a crack baby “born with a gift, a wonderful gift — I can sing.” The judges agreed, and she made it through.

And of course, it never hurts to be a good-looking woman. Perla Meneses was born in Colombia, and sounded like that during parts of Blondie’s “Call Me.” But when the judges asked her to do a little Shakira, she rose to the occasion and advanced. The fact that Simon did a double-take as she walked in was probably a good sign.

Those were four of the 17 who made it to Hollywood.  The attitude of the judges and the lack of obvious star power make it seem like it will be a long time before the show returns to Minneapolis. The frequent dissing of the city by the judges and Ryan Seacrest means that odds are small they’ll be asked back anyway.

Craig Berman is a writer in Washington, D.C.

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