Trump the greatest American in history?

When historians sit together in their halls of academia, drinking brandy and smoking clove cigarettes in their corduroy jackets, they debate hypothetical questions like, “Who Is The Greatest American In History?” Today, we received some clarity on that question.

Donald Trump leap-frogged the likes of Abraham Lincoln, FDR, and Martin Luther King with his surreal Miss USA press conference. Only an American with Trump’s remarkable boldness, stunning arrogance and complete lack of self-awareness could have turned a story about a beauty pageant winner having a couple drinks into an international media event.

Like Mother Teresa with the lepers, Trump placed his hand upon this fragile, broken woman and offered her a second chance at life. Without a reprieve from “The Donald”, Tara Conner would be sleeping under an overpass outside Lexington, Kentucky tonight. Miss USA, like the rest of the USA, owes Donald Trump a debt of gratitude. Luckily, the rest of us won’t have to repay it in his Trump Tower suite tonight as she will.

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