Readers clash over online exhibitionism

Online exhibitionism was the topic of the fifth story in our America Unzipped series, so we asked readers whether they thought the practice was harmless fun or a twisted use of technology.

Twisted? More like "perverted," said one reader. "People need to get a grip and stick to the privacy of their own bedrooms."

"Simply gross," said another.

But others weren't appalled at all.

"Doesn't interest me, but whatever two (or 20) consenting adults wish to do or show to others is no one's business but their own," said one reader.

Others wrote in to defend their own exhibitionist practices. "Online exhibitionism allows us shy and reserved people to live out a fantasy that we cannot in real life," one reader said.

Read on for more responses:

I personally don't feel the desire to exhibit myself. However, it is a healthy outlet for those who do. It allows the participants to act out fantasies that are unacceptable in nearly any other forum. It is also safer in terms of avoiding disease and even unwanted physical contact
Jerry, Orlando, Fla.

I am a member in Red Clouds. I love this site because it satisfies both my voyeuristic and exhibitionist tendencies. I have met some great people here also. Most people think that only freaky perverts go to these sites, but it's not true. Though I have met some people that I wish I hadn't, 95 percent of the people I have met are great. I will be a member of this site for a long time. I truly believe it is harmless fun.
Juan, Rockford, Ill.

If you are in a relationship that is supposed to be "committed" and you are naked in front of someone else, that's cheating. If you wouldn't do it in front of an actual person, much less your partner, you shouldn't do it in secret either.
Nate, Arlington, Va.

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For an individual such as myself, online exhibitionism is an easy way to explore the otherwise socially unacceptable topic of sexual fantasy, depending on the type of friends you keep, of course. I'm a 27-year-old guy [who] has always felt rather unattractive and entirely unable to express his sexuality in its entirety. The risk of alienating yourself from your friends and family is all but eliminated and you're free to explore whatever it is that tickles your fancy. I started sharing nude photos of myself online early in college and I've recently graduated to camming. The excitement has yet to fade; I still get the feeling that I'm taking a dangerous leap every time I fire up the cam, that I'm risking ultimate exposure and the discovery of my secret. I might go as far to say that there's even a part of me that wants to be discovered. I guess when you boil it down, I enjoy it because it allows me throw it all out there for the world to see, to take part in something that simultaneously excites and scares me.
Anonymous, Cincinnati, Ohio

It is perverted and a misuse of technology. I worry mostly about the children finding these places ... people need to get a grip and stick to the privacy of their own bedrooms — WITHOUT CAMERAS!
Anonymous

I have participated in online exhibitionism with people unknown to me and also with people I have been intimate with outside of the virtual world. As long as its between consenting adults I believe there isn't anything wrong with it. I have also found that if you are involved in a long-distance relationship it helps keep the relationship intimate and makes it easier to handle the distance between two partners.
Leah, Texas

I love it! It's perfectly harmless and it allows you to connect with others who may share a similar interest. Through several amateur sites, my wife and I are able to meet other people who share our passion for feet and nylons. While you may not understand that fetish, there are others who do and the Internet makes that connection possible. When someone tells me that pictures of my wife excite them, how can that be a bad thing? It's a compliment.
Daryl, Columbia, S.C.

I never knew such a thing exist until I read it here. Now millions of married men out there are going to [go] to these sites and ruin their marriages.
Anonymous

It's real-time porn with a selected audience. Everything is the same except the medium used for delivery. I don't see a problem with it.
Barb, Michigan

Doesn't interest me, but whatever two (or 20) consenting adults wish to do or show to others is no one's business but their own.
John, Winston-Salem, N.C.

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