Joey’s enthusiasm is not enough on ‘Dancing’

“Dancing With The Stars” (ABC, Tuesdays/Wednesdays, 8 p.m. ET) ended in an suspenseful tie on Tuesday night, much like a couple of Senate races. Unlike those races, the dance contest was decided with a new round of phone-in voting, and by Wednesday night, we had a final result.

The judges scored three dances perfectly last night, so in allowing the usual encore that graces every results show, they had plenty to choose from. In the end, they went with Mario and Karina’s tango, bypassing Joey’s ho-hum rumba and Emmitt’s sexy cha-cha. Mario looked like he stumbled a couple of times in the tango where he hadn’t on Tuesday night, but of course, it no longer mattered.

The show’s actual fresh content took a while to get off the ground, but when it did, the first group number was surprisingly successful. Too often, the professional exhibitions are forced, in that they attempt to mix ballroom dancing with something to which it seems unsuited (’80s flashbacks, for example). But here, three couples danced to the classic James Bond theme, and the combination of James Bond and ballroom is, of course, perfectly natural. The dancing was sexy and interesting, everyone looked gorgeous, and there’s nothing not to like about three professional ballroom dancing men in tuxes. The awkward plugging of the latest Bond movie made it all seem a little artificial, but the final product managed to transcend those less than honorable intentions.

Every week, members of the Tuesday audience offer their reactions after the performances, and every week, clips of those reactions add little to the Wednesday show. This week, however, was the exception.

Outside the realm of national politics, it’s just about guaranteed that nothing on television this week will be as flat-out bizarre as hearing the president of Zambia diplomatically explain that he liked all three of the famous American men dancing about in their shiny shirts. Even as part of a show that carries a good measure of “just when you think you’ve seen it all…” to begin with, this moment still managed be abidingly weird.

Are you ready for the ‘Dancing’ tour?
Next, we were treated to a lengthy preview for the upcoming tour, which will unite stars and pros from all three seasons. We saw Lisa Rinna, Harry Hamlin, Willa Ford and Joey McIntyre, and their partners Louis, Ashly, Maks and Kym.

The jive, performed to “Footloose,” proved a few interesting things. Lisa is still an awful lot of fun to watch, and she and Louis still transparently adore each other. Her husband Harry is substantially less terrible when he doesn’t have the pressure of competition bearing down on him. Joey McIntyre needs a refresher. And, of course, Willa and Maks are totally into each other, not that you didn’t read this in your favorite tabloid.

What would a Wednesday results show be without a visit with Tysonia, the affable heroine of the Slim-Fast Challenge? Tysonia has been learning to dance all season, and we left her last week just after she learned that she would be performing a rumba in a public competition. In this week’s installment, Tysonia took on the rumba without fear, and she and her partner finished in second place. And, all credit to Slim-Fast for marketing purposes, Tysonia did look fabulous. I suppose we can consider that our happy ending.

The only figures on Wednesday’s show earning a more heartwarming and unlikely welcome to a ballroom than Tysonia received were The Pet Shop Boys. Little seen in the United States since the late 1980s, the Boys are back with a greatest-hits album that’s just been released in this country, so they were happy to provide a performance of the one song for which they are best remembered here: “West End Girls,” which sounded surprisingly similar on stage to the way it sounded 20 years ago. What this had to do with ballroom dancing was a bit difficult to discern, but that has been something of a theme this season.

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