Blame K-Fed's soaring success for Britney split

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And somewhere out there, found on eBay or at a garage sale, a DVD copy of “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic,” their short-lived UPN reality series, will serve as a shining example of how two music-industry titans working at the peak of their artistic powers can not only co-exist but thrive in an unforgiving business. Even though the show lasted all of five episodes, was roundly thrashed by critics, and may have even hastened the eventual demise of that network.

But most of all, Britney will suffer the indignity of watching as K-Fed’s career skyrockets. No longer encumbered by the old ball and chain, he is now free to tour the world and demonstrate that he is more than just Mr. Spears.

Now he can get cancelled out of much bigger venues. He doesn’t need the Britney marketing machine; he can sell his CDs out of the trunk of the Ferrari he gets in the settlement. And if you think the music industry will shun him now that he’s no longer together with Britney, think again. In the music business, loyalty rules. Artists and executives are renowned for taking care of their own. Hip-hop artists especially will rally to K-Fed’s side and make sure he has everything he needs to keep rapping insightful observations like, “One earring costs more than your budget.”

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All he needs now is a chance. And a good lawyer.

Britney Spears Divorce Papers
J. Emilio Flores / Getty Images
Britney Spears' divorce papers: Black and white and read all over, at least by gossip-hungry fans hoping for juicy details of the split.
Meanwhile, Britney sits in an empty palace, taking care of her kids, no longer serenaded by the dulcet tones of hubby cursing out yet another entertainment reporter on the plasma who calls him a parasite and complaining that there’s not enough Kobe beef in the fridge to make chili.