New fiction includes holiday horror stories

Unpeeling the latest ‘Onion’ collection
Not sure if "The Onion Presents Homeland Insecurity" (Three Rivers Press, $19), the 17th volume of collected issues of the hilarious humor site, really needs to be reviewed. Fans of the site probably already know about the latest book version. But if there's someone on your holiday list with a wicked sense of humor, you've found their gift. This volume contains Onion editions from November 2004 through December 2005, thus including commentary on Hurricane Katrina, the death of Pope John Paul II, Britney Spears' marriage and more.

Some Onion stories only have, and only need, a headline ("Sister Mad." "Ruptured Pudding Cup at Large in Area Backpack.") Some have stories you just can't wait to delve into ("Ask A Guy Who's Been Avoiding You," "Why Somebody Always Around Every Time I Drop My Baby?"). Some make you laugh immediately ("Nation's Tall Asked to Stand In Back"), others take just a second to sink in ("Study: Reality TV, Reality, Unfair to Blacks"). Some utilize clever wordplay ("German Luftwaffle Chain Offers Waffles, Overwhelming Air Superiority") while others convince you that the Onion's staff has been eavesdropping on your life ("Entire 'Napoleon Dynamite' Plot Pieced Together Through Friends' Quotes").

"Homeland Insecurity" includes a short look into the Onion's, and our, future, with an excerpt from an issue dated June, 2056 ("62 Dead In Latest School Lasering"). But the issues immediately following Hurricane Katrina offer the most poignant and targeted commentary, and likely will make you angry all over again. Headlines include "Government Relief Workers Mosey In To Help," "Louisiana National Guard Offers Help By Phone from Iraq," "Shrimp Joint Now Shrimp Habitat," and "Area Man Drives Food There His Goddamned Self."  Jean Teasdale couldn't have put it better.    —Gael Fashingbauer Cooper

Gripping ‘Ghost’ story
It’s holiday season, so why not pick up a book about a really uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner? Orange Prize winner Suzanne Berne is back with “The Ghost at the Table” (Algonquin Books, $24), the story of sisters, Cynthia and Frances Fiske, who have extremely different views of their troubled childhood.

Frances, a domestic diva who just wants a better relationship with her ailing father, sees the positive, painting a too-rosy picture of events. Cynthia, the single, cynical writer of historical books for teenage girls, prefers to concentrate on the darker aspects, such as the mysterious circumstances surrounding her mother’s death, and the way her judgmental father was quick to move on after the loss.

What works here is the narrator. Cynthia is sharp, funny and surprisingly unreliable. Toward the end of the book — after an overheard conversation — the reader gets a completely different perspective on Cynthia and begins to question the veracity of what she’s been telling. Readers realize that Cynthia has her own biases.

Anyone who has a family will recognize how Frances and Cynthia communicate about their past by using their own sisterly shorthand. The book’s shortcoming comes in the way Berne ham-fistedly uses the just-too-perfect parallel of Mark Twain’s daughters —as luck would have it, the topic of Cynthia's latest book —to give background on the Fiske sisters’ story. It’s a weak spot in an otherwise compelling tale about the struggles families go through to understand each other.     —Paige Newman

A rare gem
As tempting as it is to judge a book by its cover, not to mention its title, doing so in the case of Barry Unsworth’s “The Ruby in Her Navel: a Novel of Love and Intrigue set in the 12^th Century” (Talese/Doubleday, $26) would deny a multifaceted tale to readers who typically shy away from historical romances.

The story takes place hot on the heels of the dire Second Crusade. The tenuous peace in Sicily between the Normans, the Greeks and the Arabs is put to the test as Christians and Muslims duke it out for the king’s favor.

It all unfolds from the viewpoint of an unlikely party, Thurstan Beauchamp, a naive Yorkshire-born Norman with knightly ambitions. While working in the Diwan (sort of a CIA for medieval Sicily), Beauchamp goes from booking the court entertainment to a role at the center of political controversy and cover-ups.

Fans of Unsworth’s “Sacred Hunger” and “The Songs of the Kings” won’t be disappointed with his latest offering. Written as much for those interested in the current political climate as period-piece enthusiasts, Unsworth’s layers this, his 15th book, with sensual imagery, meticulously researched history, and warnings about where patriotism for its own sake can lead. But not all is lost for the romance buffs. A classic choice between love and lust is threaded throughout.     —Ree Hines

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