10 costumes that just won't fly

Anything explosive. Two gate agents actually dressed as bombs with a lit fuse. They worked the customer service desk and anytime anyone got angry, they would reply, “Be careful, I am operating with a short fuse today.” Surprisingly enough, the costume went over well, or I guess you could say that it didn’t bomb. Still, I wouldn’t recommend this stunt at the airport, especially these days.

Priest. A colleague of mine offended an actual priest with his “Father Ted” outfit. It wasn’t the costume that was the problem; it was the Catholic jokes that came with it.

The opposite sex. You may wear a dress as a gag on Halloween, which might make some people chuckle, but before you know it, you are sneaking out to catch the cosmetic sales at the duty free shop.

Any character of ethnic origin. Don Juan, a matador, sumo wrestler, geisha girl, Rastafarian (especially if you’re white), etc. You have to realize that Halloween is an American tradition, but when you are in an airport, you may come into contact with international passengers who could take great offense.

Feminine hygiene product. A man showed up at a New York airport dressed as a tampon. In fact, he made most people, including me, laugh out loud. However, small children kept asking their parents what he was, and I doubt the flustered parents were inclined to begin sex education at such a young age, much less at an airport. The costume also had drawbacks for the wearer; for example, sitting on the airplane was difficult, and he had to take his cotton top off because he was blocking the video screen.

Next time you’re flying on Halloween, wear a costume that will put a little smile on a crew member’s face. As long as it isn’t one of the previously mentioned get-ups, it might get you a free drink on the airplane. I have known many gate agents who have upgraded as many costumed passengers to first class as would fit. It’s in the spirit of “Trick or treat!” and all those grinning jack o’-lanterns.

Enjoy and have a happy Halloween flight.

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