10 costumes that just won't fly

By James Wysong

Travel columnist

updated 1:01 p.m. ET Oct. 18, 2006

James Wysong Travel columnist • Profile • E-mail

On Halloween, most airline crew members are allowed to wear a costume to work. Some costumes are elaborate and well thought out, while others look like a last-minute throw-together. Sometimes passengers get into the spirit and dress up as well. Every year there is someone — a passenger or a crew member — who takes dress-up a little too far.

The following are costumes that I have actually seen at the airport, along with the consequences that followed.

Osama bin Laden. Maybe funny at a college frat party, but a little too close to the bone at the airport. The person who did this was — believe it or not — a pilot, and let’s just say it went over like a lead balloon. I laughed, not at his costume but at his surprise when he discovered the authorities didn’t think it was funny.

Drunken pilot. A passenger thought it would be clever to come to the airport dressed up as a pilot and hit the bars a good three hours before his flight. He met up with several passengers who were horrified when he claimed to be their pilot. He wasn’t breaking any rules, and nobody had the right to tell him to quit, although security was alerted and made sure he wasn’t really working the flight.

Police officer. Impersonating a law enforcement officer is illegal no matter what day it is, and with cameras and real cops all over the terminal, if you turn up in this costume, you are just a chicken waiting to be plucked.

Airline CEO. I wish I had thought of this one. A flight attendant dressed up as the tycoon from the Monopoly game and added a badge identifying himself as an airline CEO. He bragged about his pension during the whole flight, threw fake money around and laughed continuously at the other airline employees. Simple, yet brilliant.

Flasher. It may sound like a good idea, but keep in mind that indecency laws are strictly enforced. When a man from Florida wearing nothing but a trench coat flashed the women as he passed through the terminal, he was arrested. Apparently, he had been arrested before on the same charge, so maybe it wasn’t a Halloween costume after all.

Mass murderer. Dressing up as an infamous murderer in a public place, especially in an airport, is also a bad idea. On my flights I have seen Lizzie Borden, Son of Sam and Jack the Ripper. The best one was a flight attendant dressed up as a box of Cheerios carrying a fake sword. I am embarrassed to say it but, yes, he was a Cereal Killer.

Suicide bomber. Not funny, period! Two flight attendants dressed up as “I Spy” characters but ended up looking like terrorists with bombs. They were suspended when a couple of passengers raised a ruckus.

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