Blame Bon Jovi — Vivica exits ‘Dancing’

Nick ... yawn ... Lachey and more
The show then brought on a second musical guest, Nick Lachey. Of course, last year’s champion, Nick’s brother Drew, was in the audience to observe as Nick sang and a couple of the pros danced. Unfortunately, the song was mediocre, Nick was in weak voice, and a good part of the dance was skipped in favor of loving close-ups of Nick making serious faces to convey that he personally was in love with you, the viewer, just as he was explaining in the song. The parts of the dance that we could see suffered from the same aimlessness that befalls most of the dances of this kind. The best thing that can be said about Nick’s performance is that it made the rest of the show look electrifying.

What did work this week was a segment in which the celebrities puzzled over the complicated makeup, hair, and other primping rituals involved in dancing. Joey was appalled by the amount of artificial tanning, and Monique admitted that she herself had been sprayed, which she admitted seemed strange to her: “I’m a black girl!” she protested. This little exposé about preening, posing and funny costumes, not to mention the “vanity” by which Mario claimed to be surprised brought the show back to its strongest form. If you’re going to make this show, after all, you have to be smart enough not to take it seriously.

When it was time to determine the bottom two, the hosts first saved Willa and Emmitt, leaving Sara, Joey, Monique and Vivica as the candidates for elimination. Monique was told that she was in the bottom two; Joey was told that he was not. So would it be Vivica or Sara joining Monique? Well, it would be Vivica, of course, because it is more than clear that the way Sara dances makes no difference to those who vote for her. In fact, they may not even watch the show. Sara’s partner, Tony, certainly knew that her survival was absurd, as was evident from his spontaneous outburst of profanity when he heard the news.

This left Vivica and Monique, both of whom danced much, much better on Tuesday night than Sara did. Unlike Jerry, who at least put a lot of feeling into his performance this week, Sara genuinely offered nothing on Tuesday night. She may appear to have gotten lucky, but Sara is about to become the Master P of the competition — not because she’s being kept to annoy the judges, as he was, but because everyone knows that she is a bad dancer, and now she’s the poster girl for staying longer than your talent and presentation can justify.

Monique and Vivica got the same scores from the judges, so it was all up to the audience, and the one going home was Vivica. She took it like a champ, but it had to hurt, given that she danced the same dance that Sara turned into an artless wobble. Hey — bet you never thought Sara Evans and Vivica Fox would be part of a controversy related to ballroom dancing.

Linda Holmes is a writer in Bloomington, Minn.

MORE FROM DANCING WITH THE STARS

Donny claims ‘Dancing’ crown

Donny claims ‘Dancing’ crown Mya, Donny reach perfection in ‘Dancing’ final One couple out, three head to ‘Dancing’ finals Whitney to sing on ‘DWTS’ finale Mya scores another perfect 10 ‘Dancing’ ‘Dancing’ bids farewell to another star ‘Dancing’ does time warp with themed dances Two more couples get the boot on ‘Dancing’ Aaron Carter shines on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ Two couples leave on ‘Dancing With the Stars’   Add Dancing with the Stars headlines to your news reader: