Living with fear: Readers react to school killings

When we asked readers to share their fears and feelings about the recent spate of school shootings, more than a thousand parents, children, teachers and others responded.

One girl still thinks school is the safest place she knows, while a 13-year-old boy is afraid someone will get killed at his school.

"I certainly don't feel safe at school. I'm a teacher, and it is becoming increasingly more difficult to walk into the classroom and function in a normal manner," one teacher wrote.

Some parents have decided to homeschool in an effort to protect their child. "Besides bullies, drugs, sex offenders and just mean teachers or students, [school] is not a safe haven anymore for kids just being kids."

Others say they refuse to live in fear. "To crawl in a hole and break away from society can be ... damaging for everyone," wrote one reader.

Read on for more responses:

My name is Ben. I am 14 years old. I feel somewhat safe at school, even after these shootings. But one thing worries me. If one man can kill four people with no remorse, what's stopping other people from killing way more at another school? Nothing. People could plan a shooting at my high school and people would know, but no one would tell authorities or they'd be harmed. When my peers say, "I'd fight back if there was a shooting," I doubt they would. There's a huge difference between saying things and actually doing them. There needs to be changes in the school systems. Metal detectors would be too expensive and time-consuming. ... Nothing can really be put in schools to stop shootings, unfortunately. The best we probably can do is put in metal detectors AND have the students who know about things prior to them happening to speak up.
— Ben, Knoxville, Tenn.

In essence, we are reaping what we have sowed in this country. We have permitted our children to see violence in movies and on in television. Human dignity has been cheapened. We've let the children rule the parents, rather than teaching them to respect their elders. We've given in to their whims because that was easier than to expect respect and obedience. We have left God out of our and their lives. Respect your children, but demand respect in return and monitor what they see and what they do. Tell your children often that you love them. Spend quality time with them. It pays great dividends. Teach them by example. Don't tell me I just don't know what it's like to be a single mother. My children's father died, when they were in their teen years, and we worked through our grief together, picked up the pieces and marched onward. Again, death stalked our family and I lost a son and my son and daughter lost their younger brother. Again, we went through our grief together, again picked up our lives and continued on. Faith in God certainly makes tragedy much easier to bear.
— Jennie Vertrees, Princeton, Mo.

Once again, the issue of gun control comes into view. There is no will in this country to control guns. There is no reason for anyone to own a gun. The right to bear arms was originally intended for citizens to protect themselves from the British. Civilized people do not need to own guns. We could learn a lesson from the Amish and try to live more simply, without guns.
— Anonymous

I am a teacher and I can't say that I feel safe, but I don't feel unsafe either. It is always in the back of your mind that a former, or even a current, student could come to school with a gun and intent to harm you or other students. You can't let that rule you. The majority of students that I work with understand that violence gets you nowhere. We have really aware counselors, teachers and administrators. We also have a police officer on campus most of the time. There are certainly measures in place, but no measure is enough if a child is determined to do something harmful. The best thing we can do in schools is to teach kids to respect one another and to teach kids that bullying is unacceptable. The greatest difference we can make is not being reactive, but being proactive in the way that we treat others.
— Katie, Canton, Ga.

I feel safe sending my kids to their school and refuse to let fear keep them from a normal childhood (and be) locked up in the house.
— Lisa Bryan, Lima, Ohio

With all the security measures that have been put into place at my kids' school, I can still walk in the door anytime and so can anyone else. There needs to be a total lockdown with security at the door to let people in and out.
— Jill, Ithaca, Mich.

What scares me most is pretty evident, school violence is on the rise. Safety for our children no longer exist in our school system. My son was beaten by 15 transfer students last year the week of Thanksgiving. What did the school officials do ... nothing. What did they say they could do ... nothing. They couldn't even refer to their schools policy and procedures on safety, they can not secure or provide peace of mind in our schools. They have press conferences and false claims that school violence is down, but my son made it clear to all of them..."Sir, I'm sorry to tell you but I walk the hallways in my school not you and violence has risen in my school dramatically since my freshman year." When asked if he was scared to go to school and would he transfer out, he said, "This is my school, I live in this neighborhood, Why should I have to leave? I'm not scared and I'm going to finish school with the classmates I've gone to school with for more then just high school."
— Millie, Chicago, Ill.

I live about two hours away from Lancaster (Pa.) County where there was just a school shooting and my sister-in-law lives in Lancaster. We were on the phone all day today together watching and listening to news and what was going on. This is really sick and it has to be stopped. We as parents send our kids to school every day thinking they are going to be safe and that they are going to learn and instead they are being tortured and killed. This totally breaks my heart, I have two small children, and it scares me to death to put them on the bus in the mornings and send them off to school. I don't feel safe at all! These are our children, and something more needs to be done to protect them. I live in a small town, but so did the poor Amish of Lancaster County who didn't bother anyone. It is horrible and today it finally hit me, that if it happened there, it could happen here or anywhere! These kids are our future, we need stop all these horrible things that are happening. I really think someone needs to step back and not worry about who is going to win an election or who is going to out do another person, and worry about our kids and how we are going to save them! If they can make airports safer and what not, then they can make schools safer and do what needs to be done! If something is not done to make our schools safer, I will home school my children. They are my world!
— Amy Kapcsos, Johnstown, Pa.

What scares me the most is that it wasn't students who did the shooting. It was some random guy who just walked in and destroyed these families worlds. Columbine had student shooters - we learned to stop bulling, get kids help when they're stressed or having problems, be more attentive parents. Now it's seemingly random adults; how do we tell who is going is going to be the one to take it out on our kids?
— Peregin, Denver, Colo.

It seems as if our nation is going through a whole mess of school shootings. I personally, as a student, went through the same scare about three weeks ago when our school was locked down because of an anonymous hotline call that said someone on campus had a weapon. These shootings are becoming almost ridiculous — three in a week? What's going on in the U.S. Dept. of Defense?
— Jasper Lynn, Arcadia, Calif.

What worries me most is the sensationalism that is reflected in the news reports. Without question, this has a direct influence upon those individuals who observe this reporting & it aids them in justifying their actions to themselves because they know their actions will undoubtedly be displayed in from of all America & the world...whether right or wrong
— Jim Myhre, Fergus Falls, Minn.

I am very worried. I live in a small town and a lot of the kids here are very unhappy. Parents think a quick fix is to keep your child in church activities. In the town I live in there is nothing for these kids to do but drink, do drugs, and torment others. I listen to my daughter when she talks about the school problems. Our mid-high (9-10 grade) is so overwhelmed with drug use that even the faculty doesn't know about. There has been threats of violence many times. I moved from California to this small town to take my kids away from school violence and peer pressure. What a joke. My daughter overdosed last February because she couldn't take the pressures from the violence and the threats. She survived, but will the next kid?
— Lisa, Bartlesville, Okla.

As a teacher in a large, urban elementary school, my fears for the safety of my students grow daily. I often tell myself, "This would never happen here." Then I just look at the headlines across the nation and I know that I must be prepared to lay my life on the line for my students. I would do this in a heartbeat. Teachers have become soldiers in our violent nation (without the benefit of combat pay). Children have become targets (without the benefit of self-defense). What is happening to us?
— Mary Gallagher, Omaha, Neb.

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