Worst Person in the World: Lap dance cops

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World's Worst: Lap dance cops
Sept. 26: Deputies of the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s office in Florida have conducted an extremely expensive investigation of the local strip club to make sure the dancers weren't getting too close to the customers.

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Worst Person in the World

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By Keith Olbermann

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updated 4:27 p.m. ET Oct. 2, 2006

Keith Olbermann
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Every night at 8 p.m. on MSNBC, Keith Olbermann awards his daily pick for "Worst Person in the World." Some contenders are lucky -- or unlucky --enough to be nominated more than once.

The Bronze is an update to a previous worst. Former Miss Universe, Jennifer Hawkins, the Australian supermodel had famously stood up 17-year-old Daniel Dibley after agreeing to attending his school’s homecoming dance as his date. Now Miss Hawkins has come to the school, had lunch with Dibley, addressed the entire school assembly and apologized for the incident. After which she and Dibley spent about four minutes together in the custodian’s closet. No, I made that part up.

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Our runner-up: David Toomer, 34, of Philadelphia, faces a variety of charges after police say he bilked more than $175,000 from the state’s crime victim’s fund. Toomer allegedly pretended to be the victim of four armed robberies, then applied for the funds earmarked to reimburse victims for medical costs, counseling, and funerals.

But our winners: deputies of the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s office in Florida. They have concluded an extremely thorough, extremely expensive investigation of the local strip club to make sure the dancers weren’t getting too close to the customers. But 92 lap dances and a bunch of drinks cost a total of $6,400 worth of taxpayer money. And it turns out the girls were getting too close. It’s no wonder the deputies kept going back.

The cops on lap dance patrol in Hillsborough County, Florida are Tuesday’s “Worst Persons in the World.”