First dating violence hotline for teens created

Verbal and physical abuse
Dating violence is hard to quantify; it can range from verbal abuse to physical assault. But experts agree it’s widespread.

In Texas, half of all teenagers and young adults have experienced dating violence, either as target or abuser, according to a survey released in August by the state attorney general. A recent national survey by Teenage Research Unlimited found that one-third of teen girls in a dating relationship have feared for their physical safety.

Jill Murray, a psychotherapist from Laguna Niguel, Calif., who has written about dating violence, said the problem is worsening, in part because of coarse youth culture. She also described a new form of dating abuse, using cell phones.

“You’ve got boyfriends sending scary and demeaning text messages, sometimes in the middle of the night,” she said. “The girl must sleep with her cell phone on vibrate, so her parents don’t hear it, and she must answer his message or face bad consequences.”

Ready to get help
Murray said the new hot line could benefit girls who seek advice but aren’t ready to forsake their boyfriend.

“Maybe they call to find out how to make him change, but they don’t want to get him in trouble,” Murray said. “The hot line is a perfect anonymous way to seek help.”

Among the ex-victims joining Jessica Lee on Thursday in New York will be a 17-year-old high school student from Palo Alto, Calif., whose abusive relationship with a varsity football player ended after he kicked her across a room, causing a concussion.

Sarah, whose family has asked that her last name be withheld, said a dismaying aspect of her ordeal was lack of support from friends when she finally reported the abuse. Some threw eggs at her house; others contended she was wrong to get her boyfriend in trouble.

“There was no one my own age to talk to,” she said.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline operates with public and private funds. Clothing maker Liz Claiborne Inc. has pledged $1 million over several years to launch the teen hot line.

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