updated 8:19 p.m. ET Sept. 15, 2006

James Wysong Travel columnist • Profile • E-mail

As a flight attendant for a major airline, I’ve attended countless classes on cultural awareness, sexual harassment and passenger diversity. I’ve been told how to talk, where not to put my hands — even when to laugh and when to put a sock in it. All of this comes with an increasing fear of lawsuits. And small wonder: These days, airlines often settle lawsuits, even when the plaintiff’s case is weak, just to avoid bad publicity and lawyers’ fees. Of course, this practice opens the floodgates to some pretty interesting lawsuits. Here is my collection of the 'Top 10 Wacko Airline Lawsuits'.

1. Pink Foul: In 1995, a 24-year-old male filed a lawsuit against a major international airline for not hiring him as a flight attendant because he was homosexual. First of all, how would they know his sexual preference? I don’t think there is a check-off box for that on the application. And second, call me crazy, but isn’t “flight attendant” one of the most popular careers for gay men?

2. What’s the Buzz? A middle-aged woman filed a lawsuit against Delta Air Lines for public humiliation after a Delta security agent approached her on the plane before takeoff and informed her that something in her checked bag was vibrating. She was then escorted off the plane in full sight of onlookers to identify the suspect device, which she told the agent was probably an adult toy that she had picked up on her trip. Not satisfied with her answer, the agent instructed the woman to hold the device up and turn it on. When she did, the security agent allegedly began to “laugh hysterically.” Embarrassed or not, the passenger got the names of more than 10 witnesses for her case.

3. Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz: Now that airlines are doing away with their complimentary food service, the quality of the food has certainly gotten better. But two years ago, a businessman filed a lawsuit against an airline saying his meal was so bad that he blew a multimillion-dollar account. Why? Because during his meeting he was running to the bathroom every few minutes. I don’t know how he could prove the airline food was at fault, but I’ve become violently ill from airline food once or twice in my 15 years with the airlines, and it’s not pretty. Believe me, there’s nothing worse than being stuck in one of those airplane lavatories for hours on end.

4. Cut the Fat: A lawyer from Ohio filed a lawsuit against Delta Air Lines claiming that he suffered “embarrassment, severe discomfort, mental anguish and severe emotional distress” from having to sit next to a passenger so overweight that they were “figuratively married from the right kneecap to the shoulder” for the duration of the flight. The plaintiff alleged that the airline breached its contract to provide him with a full seat. He was seeking unspecified damages but was open to a settlement. Sounds like somebody wanted a free upgrade.

5. Everybody’s a Comedian: Southwest Airlines is known for its humorous announcements and antics, but when the humor is taken as prejudice, lawsuits tend to fly. A flight attendant made the following announcement to get everyone seated before departure: “Eenie, meenie, minie, moe. Pick a seat, ’cause it’s time to go.” At the time, there were only two women still standing, both African-Americans, and they took offense at the use of the nursery rhyme, which once had quite different wording.

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