In defense of Orlando Bloom

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Dec. 23: Singer Fergie talks about her transition from the concert stage to the silver screen for the musical "Nine". NBC's Mike Wilber reports.

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December movies
James Cameron’s spectacle “Avatar” hits theaters, along with George Clooney, who is “Up in the Air,” and Robert Downey Jr. as “Sherlock Holmes.”

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More than a pretty boy
Bloom is not a talentless pretty-boy by any means. He just needs to fine-tune his approach to projects so that he doesn’t seem like quite such a non-entity. He might start with a moratorium on period films for a couple of years: no swords, no sandals, no ancient or imaginary lands. “Elizabethtown” would have been a great first step in that direction, if the movie hadn’t been obnoxious (it was) and if Kirsten Dunst’s spazzy turn as Claire had not overwhelmed Bloom by comparison (it did), so he might also consider taking roles that actually call for him to act — not just to re-act, or to wait quietly in the background while his co-stars Brando it up in the spotlight.

Comedy seems like a promising choice for Bloom, or a small part in a Wes Anderson film — he should do something different. Get in a food fight. Play a junkie or a criminal. Cut his hair short. Do an American accent. He shouldn’t do these things to prove he can, the way actresses love to “ugly up” because it betters their chances for an Oscar. He should do these things because he already can; it’s just that nobody can tell, because all the hobbits and bronze shields and galloping horses and subtitled Saracen dialogue (and crappy English dialogue) are drowning him out. He can do the job, but it would be easier for him to do it — and for us to appreciate him for it — if he didn’t have to wear seventy pounds of plate mail to work every day, or utter grand historical pronouncements that would sound forced and stagy no matter whose mouth they came out of.

Bloom needs to focus on the writing, to look for dialogue that he can deliver convincingly. If he can do that, and if he can avoid roles that call for luxuriant facial hair, the kid might just have a future in this business. But if he doesn’t make some changes in the way he picks parts…well, there are only so many elf roles to go around.

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Sarah D. Bunting is the co-creator of TelevisionWithoutPity.com.

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