9/11 changes or reinforces deeply held beliefs

Name: Sandra McElwain
Age: 40
Hometown: Cleveland, Ohio

I was born an American citizen in Northern Ireland in 1966. My father, who was in the American Air Force, was stationed in Northern Ireland where he met my mother who was born and raised in Dublin.

I have lived in the United States for most of my life but I have always been close to my Irish roots. In the early seventies, my mom, two brothers, and I lived with my grandmother in Dublin for a year while my dad served in Korea. We made friends, and attended school and church there. Since then I have visited Ireland several times.

Before September 11, I didn't think much about what it meant to be an American. In fact, I was most proud of my Irish roots. Because of my love for Ireland, I have always considered myself Irish first and American second. When I was younger I always thought I'd like to live there when I became an adult. Being Irish seemed much more interesting than being an American.

On September 11, 2001, I was beginning my day at work at a large company in Ohio. I was on the phone with a coworker who was traveling that day when I heard her ask a companion about what she saw on the television.

I asked her what was going on and she told me that it looked like a plane had crashed into a building. "I'll have to check it out." I said to her. I always checked the news online in the morning. It wasn't long before I and many coworkers were gathered around the cable television in the building's fitness center.

I couldn't believe my eyes and will never forget the feeling of helplessness as I watched the Towers fall. I will also never forget feeling violated and angry. "How dare they do this to the United States," I thought. "How dare they do this to us."

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That's when I realized that I had been wrong all my life. I wasn't Irish first, I was American first. Not only was I American first, but I was proud of being an American.

I had been driving for 15 years in 2001 and I'd always proudly displayed an Irish emblem on my car. On September 12, I bought an American flag to put in my car's back window so everyone would know that I was an American and that I was proud to be an American.

I've kept an American flag on my car ever since. I still have an Irish emblem, but the American flag means much more to me. It represents a profound day in American history, and a profound day in my life. It was the day I discovered who I really am. I am an American.

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Name: Gail Brown
Age: 33
Hometown: Millbury, Mass.

My first son was 10 days old when the towers were hit. I struggled previously with the idea of whether it is right to bring a child into this world and that day I knew that I'd made a mistake.

I no longer believe in god. Not because I can't believe he'd let this happen, but because these people did this in the name of religion, which I now understand to be part of the trinity of evil, power, money, and religion -- which are all the same, religion is power, money is power, etc.

I cry every time I read a personal story or see any footage of the towers, as I do when I watch footage of Iraqi families being ripped to shreds for oil/money.

The attack on the towers freed me and imprisoned me. Freed me from the confines of organized religion and imprisoned me with having to live with my eyes wide open. The towers represent hope and innocence to me, both of which no longer stand up for me.

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