One fan's wish list for returning TV shows

Maybe it’s because we’ve become accustomed to running fictional people’s lives by means of videogames like “The Sims.” Maybe it’s because the Internet has brought us into contact with other viewers who share — and therefore feed — our obsession with our favorite shows. Whatever the reason, today’s TV superfans have plenty of opinions about the shows they follow.

The entertainment press has ballooned over the past decade or so, keeping viewers informed about time-slot changes, network branding strategies, and behind-the-scenes machinations. Networks encourage viewers to pick their appointment TV shows by making pilots available online or on DVD, or by sending extended promos to YouTube.com or fan sites. If some of us turn into TV junkies, it’s because industry pushers addicted us.

The unfortunate truth is that, no matter how perfectly plotlines and character pairings work out in our fevered discussions — or, God forbid, fanfic — TV producers don’t take our advice. Knowing this, though, may not prevent us from making our own wish lists for the shows on which we’ve gotten hooked. There are a lot of things I’d like to see from shows returning this fall, even if I know by now not to expect them.

‘C.S.I.’
Heading into its seventh season, “C.S.I.” presents quite a challenge: is there a subculture of freaks or perverts that hasn't yet exploited for a titillating storyline? Enough with the plushies, adult babies, dwarves and werewolves; a few more crimes that don’t seem to have been inspired by a flip through Bizarre magazine would be nice.

The sixth-season finale left us with the suggestion that Sara (Jorja Fox) and Grissom (William Petersen) might finally resolve their alleged sexual tension. However, given that they have no chemistry — she comes off less as having the hots for Grissom than wanting to be the ultimate teacher’s pet — split these two and hook up the pair of investigators we spent all last season waiting for: Catherine (Marg Helgenberger) and Warrick (Gary Dourdan)! Failing that, we’ll settle for Nick (George Eads) and Greg (Eric Szmanda).

‘Desperate Housewives’
Some of us might say that our very fondest wish for the third season of “Desperate Housewives” is that there wouldn’t be one. And apparently Hollywood agrees, given the relatively few trifling Emmy nominations its second season racked up.

Reportedly, series creator Marc Cherry will be much more involved this year, so if you were in thrall of such first-season storylines as “Lynette (Felicity Huffman) gets addicted to Ritalin” and “Susan (Teri Hatcher) falls down,” you’re in luck! With Cherry back in the saddle, maybe the show can finally settle on a consistent tone: Either it’s a drama grounded in such real-life questions as how a woman handles a husband’s infidelity or an ill-behaved child, or it’s an over-the-top campy soap opera in which a developmentally delayed murderer lives in a basement dungeon.

If that’s too much to hope for, how about some scenes featuring more than two Housewives at a time?

‘Gilmore Girls’
Trying to guess what the new season of “Gilmore Girls” will hold is sort of a daunting task, given that its creator, Amy Sherman-Palladino, will no longer be involved, leaving as its new showrunner David Rosenthal, who reportedly left his wife a few years back and wrote a filthy play about his obsession with Heidi Klum. However, if the rumors are true, and series stars Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel are itching for the show to end, perhaps Rosenthal is the perfect person to kill it.

If that’s not Rosenthal’s aim, Job One should be to return the titular girls to singlehood. Logan (Matt Czuchry) turned Rory into a vapid trophy wife, and Luke (Scott Patterson) reacted to hooking up with Lorelai by seemingly becoming intractably annoyed by everything about her. The show is supposed to be a light-hearted comedy, not a mirthless slog through pretend people’s love problems. Give the Gilmores a break from men in which to spend more time teasing Lorelai’s parents (Edward Herrmann and Kelly Bishop) and doing more silly girl things; wouldn’t we all have loved to see them celebrate Rory’s birthday in Atlantic City instead of just hearing about it?