New sitcoms don't offer much to laugh about

‘The Class’
Ah, third grade — the haven of spitballs, recess and pulled ponytails. But for the sweet, overly sentimental Ethan (Jason Ritter) it was the beginning of something more. It was when he first met his girlfriend, and what better way to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of that event than to throw a surprise party attended by those old classmates? He somehow convinces a group of them to gather for what turns out to be a dud of a party, but a success at restarting some long-dormant relationships.

While “The Class” (CBS, Mondays, 8:30 p.m. ET) starts out with a fresh and interesting concept, it falls short where it counts. The few giggle-worthy moments are squeezed until the last drop of humor is drained. Just how many times do viewers need to be reminded that Richie is set on suicide, or that Holly married a gay man? It’s all made worse by an annoying laugh track that drowns out any real snickers the jokes might earn.

If viewers are still searching for another big ensemble comedy to be the next ‘”Friends,” they’d better keep on looking. With executive producers Jeffrey Klarik (“Mad About You”) and David Crane (“Friends”), “The Class,” has the pedigree but not the punch.     —Ree Hines

Apparently, suicide is hilarious. And, as viewers learn in the Ted Danson sitcom “Help Me Help You,” (ABC, Tuesdays, 9:30 p.m. ET) the urge to self-annihilate is both easily explained and treated.

FREE VIDEO 'Help Me Help You' Ted Danson heard a lot of people's problems on 'Cheers,' and he'll do the same here. MSNBC

“Suicidal tendencies,” you see, is the diagnosis for Dave, the newest member of the therapy group proctored by renowned self-help author, Dr. Bill Hoffman (an unfunny Danson). Dave’s leap from an office window is amusingly foiled when he lands on his boss and not the concrete. (Get it? It’s “absurd.” Like “Arrested Development.” Laugh, dang it!)

Does Dave receive the intensive inpatient treatment one might expect? Nope! Instead, he attends group with other one-dimensional characters, each suffering from his or her own mental illness cliché; daddy issues, anger problems, social retardation, and a guy who “doesn’t know he’s gay” (don’t get me started).

As a shrink, Danson’s Dr. Hoffman is more Frasier than Newhart — so absorbed in his own midlife crisis, it’s a wonder he’s still licensed. His estranged wife (talented-but-typecast “Malcolm in the Middle” mom Jane Kaczmarek) is boinking the car dealer. His daughter is boinking her psychology professor. (Paging Dr. Freud!) Yet despite his own crushing issues, Dr. Hoffman is chock full of empty platitudes that provide his patients instant emotional breakthroughs. As for viewers: No follow-up visit required.       —Helen A.S. Popkin