Divining the truth about Jen and Vince

If their publicists won’t tell us, maybe the Ouija board will

	What you lookin' at? Vaughn and Aniston share a scene in "The Break-Up."
Melissa Moseley / Universal Pictures via AP

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COMMENTARY

By Ree Hines and Helen A.S. Popkin

msnbc.com contributors

updated 9:37 a.m. ET Aug. 10, 2006

They're an item. They're not an item. They won't say. They're engaged. Their publicists deny it. But, then again, they would deny it.

Since when can anyone trust the statements coming out of camp Vaughniston? And that’s the problem. In the early days of the alleged romance between Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, the stars and their PR peeps claimed there was no romance. Now that engagement rumors are swirling around them, who knows what to believe? Perhaps we can put an end to the debate by consulting a series of time-tested divination tools.

Yes, the same scientific fortune-telling devices we relied upon in middle school to predict which classmates we would marry, how many kids we’d have or if we’d live in a mansion, apartment, shack or house can now ease our minds when it comes to celebrity matrimony. Is that a rock on Jen’s finger? Is Vince finally ready to settle down? Let the oracles be our guide.

Story continues below ↓

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TAROT
Ree: Eschewing the traditional and time-consuming method of multi-card layouts, we opt for the Miss Cleo approach, in which the “seeker” pulls a single card from a shuffled tarot deck and pretends to be able to interpret its meaning. Okay Helen, you’re up first.

Helen: That’s it! I’ve drawn the “Lovers” card. See, the card shows a couple reaching out to one another as if to form a union. Vince and Jen are totally getting hitched!

Ree: Ha! I’ve drawn the “Fool” card, and I believe you’ve spoken too soon. This card portrays a man about to make a huge mistake by stepping off a cliff. Vince knows that marriage would be the wrong move for him, so no engagement.

Helen: You don’t know! That card could mean that Vince is a master of the pratfall. Which he is. Or maybe he should avoid taking a dive by starring in “Dodgeball II.”