Tips to calm your child’s first-day jitters

Dr. Ruth Peters TODAY contributor • Profile • E-mail

The first day of school is quickly approaching, and kids are anticipating that event with mixed anticipation and apprehension. Old pros, although understanding the routine and structure of the day, still experience a bit of the first-day jitters as they wonder who will be in their classes and how they will fit in socially during the school year. Kids new to the scene (entering kindergarten, middle and high school) may have additional concerns, including how to find their way around the new campus, whether they will have someone to sit with in the cafeteria for lunch and how they will get along with the teachers and be able to compete academically.

Kindergarten
The big enchilada: real school, homework, larger classes, longer days and crowded hallways. Many children, especially those with older siblings, have longed for this rite of passage. But others may be fearful of the change from the small, loving and comfortable preschool situation. How to make this an easier, more fun transition for your little one? Well, attention to a few issues and some major empathy on your part may do the trick. Usually your child’s concerns fall into two categories — getting through the day in one piece (schedules, how the day will proceed) and emotional fears. Let’s begin with the basics:

Getting the lay of the land:

Where’s the bathroom and when can I use it? Good question, one deserving of a very concrete, complete and definite answer! Many kindergarten classrooms are set up with a bathroom or two situated right in the classroom so that the little kids don’t mingle with the older students or have to travel outside of the class (and find their way back!) every time nature calls. Also, hand-washing time is much easier if the sink is just a few steps away. Tell your child that the teacher will have a policy about when and how to use the bathroom. Often, it’s on an as-needed basis, or the child may have to ask to be excused from the learning environment. But it’s usually a quick and easy process and the other students usually don’t notice a frequent potty user, if that’s one of your kid’s concerns. 

What if I don’t make it to the bathroom and have an accident? Another good question, and again, easily answered! It’s quite common for teachers to request an extra set of underwear and pants, packed in a large zip-locked plastic bag just for this occasion. Tell your child that this is quite commonplace, and to just alert the teacher to their situation and a clean change of clothes will do the trick. No one else has to know about it, and therefore this is nothing to be concerned about.

What if I get hungry? Will they feed me? Yep, and it’s fun, too. Explain about snack and lunch time, how your youngster will probably have the option of bringing both or buying lunch in the cafeteria. Discuss how snack will occur mid-morning and lunch an hour or so later in the day. Ask your son or daughter what they would like for you to pack, and let them consider making their own snacks and lunches either the night before or early in the morning. Discuss how snack usually occurs in the classroom at their tables (which they will be sharing with another child or two), and that lunch will take place in the larger cafeteria. Most kindergarten students are segregated during lunchtime to their own special tables and areas, so they don’t mix with the older kids. Take your child to a buffet or cafeteria-style dining establishment and explain that the lunch line at school will be similar. This may also be a good, teachable moment to discuss some nutrition tips about selecting the best foods during lunchtime. Most local newspapers offer the public school lunch schedules, and you and your child can review them before the school week begins.

Do I have to take a nap? Sure, but you don’t have to fall asleep! By kindergarten, teachers realize that most kids won’t fall asleep (although some are out for the count within a few seconds of their heads hitting the cots!), but benefit from 45 minutes or so of rest and relaxation. Some teachers quietly read a book while others play soothing music. Emphasize that it won’t be an incredibly boring two hours of lying quietly on a cold floor! It’s often a sought-after respite by pooped-out kids, and many enjoy listening to the stories.

Will I have homework like my older brother has?  “Yes, but it will be fun and interesting” is the best answer to this question! Many little ones look forward to the idea of homework as it reeks of being a “big kid.” Tell your child that there will probably be a few minutes of coloring, cutting or copying to do at the beginning of the year, but that it’s all fun, enjoyable stuff and that you, as a parent, can’t wait to help and get involved in the process. Make it a positive, exciting idea, not an activity to be dreaded.

What happens first? Then what do we do? It’s a good idea to call the school and ask for a daily schedule of activities to review with your child. But, in general you can tell your son that the day begins by putting their book bags in their cubbies and meeting on the circle line for the morning ritual — the Pledge of Allegiance, a short discussion of the day’s events, the calendar reviewed and perhaps a story read. Then it’s on to some seat work, then center time, snack, recess, more seat work, and then lunch. Usually this is followed by nap or quiet time, and then the “specials” (art, music and dance). Then it’s pack up and get ready for dismissal time.

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