One man’s guide to the Top 40 when you’re 40

The women are particularly impressive. Shakira's duet with Wyclef Jean on "Hips Don't Lie" is a summertime breeze of seduction that proudly wears its Latin influences. Rihanna's ballad "Unfaithful" is sung from a fresh perspective, that of a woman who can't help cheating on her long-suffering mate. Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten" is both beautiful and uplifting. Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man," while overdoing the vocal gymnastics, is a modern-day "Lady Marmalade."

Kelly Clarkson has the strongest rock 'n' roll spirit of anyone on the charts, and even the Pussycat Dolls sound better than the concept suggests.

It's a long way from Aretha Franklin's "Respect." Today's women expect and demand it. You'll be thinking of another b-word when Kelis sings "Bossy." Romance means more than moonlit walks on the beach to Cassie and Kandy Girl, and they don't hesitate to say so.

Rappers often feel they have to soften their approach by dueting with women singers.

Too often it's the only musically interesting thing in their work. Rap dominates the culture, and it's empowering that hit songs can essentially be made by one person and a machine. Minimalism is no excuse for laziness, however. It's numbing how many rap songs consist of little more than a repetitious synthesizer hook and electronic percussion.

Hire a few musicians and a new world will open up! We're talking to you, Field Mob. And you, Lil Jon. And Chamillionaire, E-40, Young Dro, Chris Brown, Cherish...

In rock 'n' roll, it's frightening that this may be remembered as the Nickelback era. Is there a more grating lead singer on the charts than Chad Kroeger? He's like that guy in Crash Test Dummies, if he gargled with gravel. Emo has little to offer, either. If Panic! At the Disco's Brendon Urie sings that phrase "a sense of poisoned rationality" in the wrong place, he's going to get worked over.

Fray and the Red Hot Chili Peppers have their moments, but the Top 40 doesn't have a single song to make a rocker punch his fist in glee.

Everyone knows country isn't really country anymore, but play these two fine pop-rock songs back-to-back — KT Tunstall's "Black Horse & The Cherry Tree" and Tim McGraw's "When the Stars Go Blue" — and explain why one is on the country charts and the other isn't.

Is it just the hat?

Country is where mainstream rock went to hide. That would be fine, if Rascal Flatts could find a better song than "Life is a Highway." And, by the way, why did Kenny Chesney find it necessary to rewrite Will Smith's "Summertime" for a suburban audience?

Now that the job is done, there are about 20 songs I'm ready to erase from my iTunes account, perhaps less than I would have guessed.

You don't have to be 16 anymore to find something to like in the Top 40.

But it helps.

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