Over 50 and single? Rediscover your sexy side

Step three: Put on your game face
This little trick of being alone with myself took me a few years to master. At first, I thought I would die from loneliness, especially during those times when my children were staying with their father.  As I mention in the chapter called “Shall We Dance?” I sought out new ways to meet people.  While that worked wonders for my social life, I did still feel lonely. It wasn’t until I made myself realize that I was a strong, healthy woman with a great future ahead of me that I truly began to rebuild my life. I very much needed to celebrate all that I’ve learned and experienced in my long and full life. I’d had many happy years in my marriage, I was blessed with healthy children, I still had my sense of humor (although that took some doing), and I still looked pretty damned good, all things considered.

I went through my phone book and crossed out all the people who had dumped me after the divorce. Then I started to consider contacting some old friends who had not “chosen sides” but whom I had, thoughtlessly, ignored during my extended self-pity party. To my surprise, many of them were genuinely pleased to hear from me and came right out and expressed delight that I had come out of my funk. I made time to go to lunch, to catch up, and to find out what was going on in the outside world that I’d been shutting out. Turns out it’s a very interesting place that’s absolutely rife with opportunity.

Is this thing on?

I even decided to acquire some new skills. I’d been so busy being the perfect wife and hostess that I hadn’t advanced into the world of technology. The only new electronic device I’d mastered was a toy of a more personal nature. So, I had my children teach me how to use the computer and learned the wonderful art of e-mail. I’d always been sort of phobic about electronics, but then I realized that I could keep in touch with so many people and feel so much more creative than I would have if I’d just spend hours chatting on the phone.

I think, therefore I am single
— Liz Winston

And, of course, there was that brief episode of Internet dating, but we’ll save that for the chapter called “The Dating Game.”

Okay, so now you’ve got your game face on, it’s time to get out on the field. You should think about whether you’re looking to get married or just to start dating again (or possibly for the first time). Either way, there’s lots of information in this book to help you out. But reading doesn’t take the place of doing, my dears. As Auntie Mame declared, “Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!” It’s time for you to start enjoying the repast and even to become a conspicuous consumer. 

Excerpted from “Fabulous After Fifty and Sexy at 60,” by Judy Steinberg and Raechel Donahue. Copyright © 2006, Judith Steinberg and Raechel Donahue. All rights reserved. Published by Penguin Group (USA.) No part of this excerpt can be used without permission of the publisher.

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