‘I can’t wait to see the new Colin Farrell movie!’

Farrell, on the other hand, has a sex tape that is the only commonly seen denominator among the friends I talked to. And a party-hard rep. And subsequently a stint in rehab under his belt at 30. And his own shrine on the gossip Web sites. And tabloid stories of him bedding more famous women than just about anyone of his generation. But whether those stories are true or not isn’t the point. There’s not a shred of soft ambiguity about him. No Rob-Lowe-in-the-’80s androgyny. He doesn’t have occasional gay rumors popping up. He could get you pregnant. Or give you an STD.  His fingernails could be dirty. The gritty sensuality he displays onscreen whenever the camera lets him also spills over into reality. And that would be okay with us if he weren’t so pretty. But he is. So we’re terrified. We like to gossip about him but we don’t want him in our homes or dating our sisters.

And don’t look for him to tone it down onscreen anytime soon. You won’t remember a thing he says in “Miami Vice” but you’ll remember the way he dances with Chinese actress Gong Li. At the screening I attended a small group of bold young women behind me applauded openly and knowingly when those two began their 30-foot-tall lambada. Those media-employed women (it was an all-media screening) get it, even if lots of ticket buyers don’t. His reign of sex-danger is just beginning.

For now at least. He’s still young. And a father. And rehab seems to have done him some good. A stern publicist could help too. He’ll stay a star. And if he’s smart and secretly oddball enough he’ll make cooler choices than “S.W.A.T.” in the future and maybe inherit the Johnny Depp crown someday. Weirder things have happened. Just don’t look for him to sink into Gary Busey obscurity anytime soon. And maybe, in the not too distant future, moviegoers will decide that his name above the title is a product safe enough to consume.

Dave White is the author of “Exile in Guyville” and writes film criticism for Movies.com. He can be found at www.imdavewhite.com.

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