Where there’s a Will, there’s a payday

Pitch: Ferrell plays a former school bully who gets tricked into participating in Ultimate Fighting.
Title: “The Bully”
Plot: As a kid, Tank Cartwright (Ferrell) was the meanest kid on the playground, threatening everyone in his sight. A particular target of his cruelty was little Gerald Boner (David Spade). Now all grown up, Boner wants revenge and as a promoter of The Ultimate Fighting Championships, Gerald easily convinces a conceited Tank that he can compete and win. However, after Tank is nearly killed in the ring, Gerald realizes that all those years of bullying were just a cover for a lot of pain and a difficult home life. Gerald must help Tank train to win back his self-respect and possibly a fight against the most menacing UFC opponent ever.

Pitch: Ferrell is abducted by aliens.
Title: “Little Green Men”
Plot: As a clerk in a gift shop in Roswell, New Mexico, Larry English (Ferrell) may not be climbing any corporate ladders, but he sure knows how to sell novelty items by creating elaborate stories for his customers. Unfortunately, none of Roswell's other business people take alien invasion quite so seriously and they regard Larry as an eccentric at best. So when a group of curious aliens abducts Larry after listening in on a particularly accurate tall tale of a coming galactic war, Larry becomes an ambassador for the entire planet.

Jason Katzman is co-creator and writer for Shadowculture's Mr. Cranky.

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