‘America’s Got Talent’ all about the Hasselhoff

The title of the latest success to come out of Simon Cowell's expanding empire, "America's Got Talent" (NBC, Wednesdays, 8 p.m. ET) surely sounds as much like a hopeful incantation as it does like a happy, excited exclamation. After all, America is a big place. We must have talent, right? We certainly think we do, because we've made this show one of the biggest successes of the summer.

In fact, this show is casting a far wider net, talent-wise, than most other similar operations. Where "American Idol" and "Rock Star" have focused on a national preoccupation with singing, "America's Got Talent" features singing, but has gotten most of its attention from its willingness to bring in everything that isn't singing. The show has developed into a potluck supper of bird calls, balloon animals, juggling, magic, and a few things that don't fit neatly into any particular category. This last set would include the guy who gradually worked his way into a giant balloon until just his head was sticking out, along with the one who was, it is safe to say, the first person network television has ever shown breakdancing while dressed as a freakishly enormous cow.

It's easy to dismiss this as an updated version of "The Gong Show," and the fact that the three judges can knock a contestant out mid-performance by unanimously hitting their buzzers makes that comparison seem even more apt. But although the show certainly has its share of train wrecks and freak shows, it is not primarily an ironic demonstration that America has no talent. It is primarily a demonstration that an awful lot of people have talents from which they can never expect to make one penny or get a second of fame. So the focus of the show isn't so much "America's Got Talent" as it is "America's Got Unmarketable Talent."

You might ask yourself what would lead anyone to believe that people in large numbers would sit down in their living rooms to watch something that amounts to little more than "Here's this guy who does this thing — ta-da!" The answer, of course, is, "the Internet." YouTube and other viral video outbreaks have proved beyond question that there's a big audience for a category that might be most aptly referred to as the things you've never minded not being able to do. Make a fountain-like display from Mentos and Diet Coke? Never thought of that! Kids in dorm rooms lip-synching to '80s New Wave bands? Never thought of that, either!

As is often the case with a show like this, the genius is in the tone, and the tone is in the details. Of the three judges, one is a Mean Brit named Piers, clearly bred on the same Mean Brit farm that spawned not only Simon himself but also judges on "So You Think You Can Dance" and "American Inventor." You can't have a judging panel without one, really. The second judge is Brandy, a very Paula-Abdul-esque choice, in that her cultural relevance is a memory, though not an entirely distant memory. Her role is much like Paula's: she likes many more acts than anyone else, and she hands out praise to everyone, regardless of actual ability. The third judge — and this is the beauty part — is David Hasselhoff, last seen earnestly tearing up at the "American Idol" finale.

MORE FROM MORE REALITY TV NEWS, FEATURES

'Project Runway' needs a fresh design

'Project Runway' needs a fresh design Paris takes search for new BFF to Britain Dancing is hotter than ever ... on TV Next 'Bachelor' was rejected by 'Bachelorette' Eclectic mix of contestants for ‘Amazing Race’ Meet ‘The Amazing Race 13’ teams Now's your chance to be an ‘Idol’ or ‘Top Model’ How about Michael Phelps as ‘The Bachelor’? Meet ‘The Amazing Race 13’ teams Test Pattern: Right man won ‘Dance’ title   Add More reality TV news, features headlines to your news reader: