Hotmail
The miraculous life of Jonathan Swain
Most popular Dateline pages |
Sign up for the newsletter |
|
msnbc.com special report |
 |
Who would have believed that the first Colorado AIDS baby would grow up to graduate high school, would still be alive at 18?
 |
Courtesy of Neil Willenson Jonathan (left), stood as a groomsman at Neil's wedding |
In June 2001, Jonathan Swain was posing for photos with Neil Willenson, the man who’d given him a home these last 5 years, who’d made sure Jon got back on his AIDS medication and began to look after himself again.
His mom was now in prison, serving 12 years for drug-dealing. He might have abandoned her; he didn’t. He went to see her and made a video of his high school graduation just for her.
Jon's videotape for his mom in prison: “How you doing’ mom? I don’t know if you’re going to be able to see this, but I love you. Don’t worry about not being here, it’s alright...”
But inside, he was a very angry young man.
Jon Swain: I will never forget the pain she put me through. It hurts me, what she did to me.
As one of the first pediatric AIDS cases in the U.S., Jon had been fortunate to be at the forefront of AIDS research, and lived long enough to benefit from a medical breakthrough in the mid-'90s... a mixture of drugs called pro-tease inhibitors which, though they do not cure AIDS victims, did manage to prolong life, quite dramatically. For Jon there was a new question: What to do next?
The future was a strange and unsettling concept for Jonathan Swain, but he knew there was someone who could help him figure it out— his older brother Josh.
Jon Swain: I always felt a sense of security when I was around Josh. I’ve always felt like things were gonna be alright.
Josh, now a cook, lived in a small town called Vernal, Utah. Was Jon ready to leave the understanding world around him, ready to face possible discrimination, to fight for acceptance one more time? Was Jon ready for Vernal, Utah? People who knew Jon asked a different question: Was Vernal ready for him?
Jon, in a way only Jon could, wasted no time in making his presence known.
He was back with his brother again, weathering the storm — this time of food orders — side by side, just like old times.
And then, the most unexpected thing: Jon met a girl.
Her name is Amber. She was a waitress at the restaurant. She liked Jon. And Jon liked her.
Jon Swain: I guess I’m attracted to people that are very compassionate, very empathetic and understanding. I guess I kind of need that in order for it to work, you know? You gotta be compassionate and understanding to accept me and my situation.
Jon had always been upfront about his disease. With girls that usually meant the end of any romantic relationship, but not with Amber.
Jon Swain: I almost thought she was crazy, honestly. She didn’t care at all.
Keith Morrison, Dateline correspondent: She didn’t care that you had AIDS?
Jon Swain: She cared but she wasn’t worried.
Who was this 22-year old woman who wasn’t worried about AIDS? Amber came from a tight-knit Mormon family. She had two little kids. She was separated, soon to be divorced. She was bright, rebellious... and in love.
Morrison: How can you commit to having a relationship physically with a guy you know has AIDS? How can you do that?
Amber: Well, there’s no guarantee. I could die in an airplane crash or to work in the car tomorrow. I mean, it’s not fair to him to not have somebody that loves him just ‘cause he got it when he was a baby.
Morrison: But you could get AIDS...and you’re prepared to accept it as a consequence?
Amber: I have to if I’m gonna be with him. I mean, every time we have sex, it’s a possibility that I can get it.
Jon used a condom to minimize any chance of infecting Amber with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Still, when Amber told her parents about Jon, they warned her: she was playing Russian roulette.
Jon Swain: They always asked me the question, “If you love Amber as much as you do, why would you put her at this risk?” I just told them that I’m a progressive person and I’ve never let AIDS define who I was. I want to have things in life and I’m sorry it happens to be your daughter.
Amber’s family objected again when Jon and Amber told them they intended to move in together. Jon got worried.
Jon Swain: I was scared that her family would never accept me and I didn’t want to take that away from your family.
Amber: But I also told you that I’d give up my family if that’s what it meant.
Jon Swain: I know.
Morrison: You would give up your family? For him?
Amber: Yeah. (Crying).
Jon Swain: That’s what was so hard for me... (Jon sees Amber’s tears, stops and kisses her.)
But remember... nothing had ever come easily to Jon Swain.
It may have been inevitable that despite all his precautions, one terrible day, the statistical probabilities of that Russian roulette of theirs played out: The condom broke.
Jon Swain: It was very scary for me. I almost had a nervous breakdown. It was like, “My God, my God, you know. I just gave you AIDS.” I felt so bad. I felt so responsible.
Morrison: Yeah. You have taken this woman who loves you and who you love, and maybe you’ve given her a death sentence.
Jon Swain: Exactly.
Without delay, Amber submitted to an HIV test and though she claimed she was prepared for whatever it might tell - these were nerve-wrecking days. Already, as she waited for the results, she began to feel different: Fatigued, occasionally ill.
And then, alone in the bathroom, she was caught off guard looking at two bright blue lines: the result of a different test altogether. Amber was pregnant.
Amber: I was excited, but nervous. At that point, all we knew is that if I got pregnant I would get AIDS.
Jon Swain: I, Mr. AIDS here, I called the AIDS hotline and I said “Is it possible to be pregnant and not have AIDS? They said, “Yes.” And I was holding on to that.
Amber’s first test came back negative, but HIV is notorious for taking its time. Amber needed to get tested every month and if she had it, there was a chance her baby could have it too.
Jonathan Swain — a father? Not in his wildest dreams, he said.
Jon Swain: I would always shut it out of my mind. I wasn’t sure...
Morrison: Afraid to hope.
Jon Swain: Yeah. I didn’t want my hopes to get down. It happened too much in my life to get my hopes up and be let down.
The next months were difficult. Highs and lows. The wondrous ultrasound image of their baby. The moments when pessimism ruled, when fear took over.
Jon Swain: Every night when I said my prayers, when we didn’t know if Amber had AIDS or not, I told God, “I promise I won’t take this for granted, just give me this opportunity. Please don’t let them get AIDS.
Amber continued to take the HIV test and each time it came back negative.
On June 6, 2004, when Amber was eight months pregnant, she and Jon got married. Amber’s parents attended the ceremony, finally ready to embrace Jon as one of their own.
Then, six weeks later, on July 27th, 2004, it was time.
Jon and Amber were in the delivery room. Jon was there, of course. He was nervous and almost dazed, in utter amazement that this was happening to him at all.
Jon watched open-mouthed as the baby appeared, cut umbilical chord, and handed the baby to Amber.
Just like that, the boy who was never supposed to live, was now a father to a son to "Jett Davis Swain."
They tested Jett as soon as he was born and there was no HIV. Jett was healthy.
Jon Swain: I can’t really put into words. I’m just so happy. I should have been dead long ago. Everyone thought I would be I always knew I would be here, I never knew I would be here. That’s why I think it’s a miracle.
Jon Swain [looking at Amber]: I love you. I’m just glad that you gave me this opportunity. I’m just very proud of you, proud of Jett.
Sheila Swain gets the news in her California prison cell. She’s a grandmother. Another milestone missed. But she had news too, of her own. It might soon bring the whole story to its remarkable conclusion.
- Discuss Story On Newsvine
-
Rate Story:
View popularLowHigh - Instant Message
MORE FROM DATELINE |
 Dateline Section Front |
| Add Dateline headlines to your news reader: |
Sponsored links
Resource guide