From Russia with love

Back home in Pennsylvania, all Joe and Sophia could think about was their brothers and sisters in Russia.

They now began to learn a little of their native language. All their parents, Lisa and Hythem could do, was worry and wait.

Wait for the decision on the adoption, and worry about the the children in Russia.  Especially the boys.  The memory of where they lived, so different from the girls, haunted them.

Lisa Salem: The conditions of the buildings were ready to fall over.  The lack of what they  had. They are in such need.

And for all four children, the Salems felt the clock rapidly ticking away. 

Lisa: You’re fighting against time with them getting older.  They’re not babies.  They’re pre-adolescents and then being able to affect a change in their life.

And this might very well be the children’s last chance for a stable home.  Already their odds were poor.  In Russia, as in most countries, 95 percent of children in orphanages, over the age of 5, are never adopted.

Instead, children’s rights advocates say, unadopted Russian children confront grim statistics: one third of the orphans become homeless, one in five commits a crime, and 10 per cent of these children commit suicide.

But if Lisa and Hythem were permitted to bring these children home, and change their futures, they would have to figure out how they could possibly pay for it all.

Lisa: I think that’s the hardest part. After you’re done with the emotional and the waiting.

Hythem is an engineer, earning $64,000 a year. Lisa works part time at home. Supporting a family of four, is one thing, but traveling to Russia... and if the adoption went through, doubling the size of their family.

Lisa: I don’t know how we’ll get through it.  We seem to be living every day by the seat of our pants, but you can’t put a price on this.

And then, the most remarkable thing:

The Salems story had spread... around town in the newspaper, they were seen on TV.

And after that, it seemed the whole community was adopting the Salems, sending contributions.

All the while, the Salems were waiting for a Russian court date to plead their case.

Lisa: I think you physically hurt sometimes from that whole process, waiting for the date—waiting, waiting, waiting for the phone call.

And then, finally, the phone rang.

It was June 2004, when Lisa and Hythem went back to Russia, alone this time, on a 12 hour train ride back to the children.

Key phrases were important to learn. One Russian phrase in particular they were determined to remember:

Hythem Salem: “You are safe,” yes.

Keith Morrison: Why that?

Hythem: Their trust been violated so many times.  And we just wanna give ‘em that word to say, “You are safe. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

As they arrived it was clear— whether or not the court was ready to agree, the girls now had expectations.  And Lisa and Hythem were in no mood for caution themselves.

Lisa: Soon you’re going to go to America and you’re going to grow up with your brothers and sisters and we love you already.

Since the Salem’s visit two months ago, they were told, something in the girls had changed. You could see it in their eyes.

They’d been hounding everyone... “When would it happen?  How soon?”

And so, as the girls remained behind to wait and wonder, the Salems traveled the 100 miles to see the boys.

And along the way, worried.

Had they been through too much trauma, were they too old, to make new family relationships?

Sergei especially, he barely spoke when the Salems last visited, hardly showed any affection.

Morrison: What were your expectations that second time?

Lisa: From when we left the first time I kind of felt like we might shake hands.

But it didn’t quite happen that way.

Lisa: I mean, they hugged me so tight, I could hardly breathe. I didn’t expect anything like that.

Hythem: I think it was almost reality for them.  “This is a dream come true.  They told us they’re coming back.  And here they are.”

Lisa:     I likened it to a flower in the forest that had shriveled up. But the sun came out, and they bloomed. 

The next day, after almost two years apart, sisters and brothers would be reunited so that a Russian court could decide if their meeting would last one day or the rest of their lives.

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