Once and for all, am I married or not?

John W. Schoen Senior Producer • Profile • E-mail

With the June wedding season winding down, many newlyweds are beginning to sort out their finances as married couples. It’s important to get it right. As several Answer Desk readers have found, things can get a little complicated down the road if you’re not entirely clear about your marital status.

My exboyfriend and I filed our 2004 taxes jointly (we were still together at that time and owned a house together). Since then, we have separated and when I filed my taxes for 2005, I was told by the man from H & R Block that I had to file married filing separately because filing our taxes together made us married. He also said that I need to get a divorce. Is this true? ... The guy at H&R Block said that filing our taxes together made us legally married. We never had a wedding or a marriage license, I never got a ring and he never even asked! Wonder why he’s out of the picture now.
  -- Crystal, Montana

You need to see a lawyer who specializes in Montana family law. When it comes to financial questions related to your legal marital status, we don’t suggest relying on advice from some guy you’ve never met who writes a column on the Internet. (Then again, we don’t suggest you rely on the guy at H&R Block either.)

But from what we can tell, it looks like you’re not married – and never were. Just filing a joint return doesn’t make you married.

Which means you may have to go back and file an amended return for 2004 – as an individual. In order to claim marital status and file jointly, the IRS says you need to meet at least one of these tests:

1. You’re married and living together as husband and wife.
2. You’re living together in what’s known as a “common-law marriage” — a legal marital status recognized by a handful of states.
3. You’re married and living apart, but not legally separated under a divorce decree or separation agreement.
4. You are separated under a divorce decree that’s not final.

Since Montana is one of those states that recognize common-law marriage, you’re best shot at claiming joint filing status for 2004 is No. 2.

But according to the Montana Department of Public Health and Human Services, you have to meet four more conditions (all of them) for your common law marriage to be legal there:

1. You have to be “competent” to marry — which means you’re old enough, you aren’t married to someone else, and you aren’t a close blood relative of your intended spouse.
2. You both have to agree to be married.
3. You have to live together as husband and wife.
4. And you have to tell other people — like friends, family and neighbors — that you’re married.

Since he never popped the question (never mind the ring), it sounds like you flunk Condition No. 2. And unless he went around telling family and friends you were married (we’re guessing that one’s a stretch too), it sounds like you don’t meet Condition No. 4 either.

But you clearly need to resolve this one way or another. So go see a lawyer. If it turns out you are, in fact, married, he can help you with a divorce.

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