Brad vs. Vince: Who’s the money?

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The friends
The company a man keeps is important. Brad Pitt is friends with many of Hollywood’s A-list, while Vince Vaughn runs with a crowd slightly more reminiscent of the guys you hated sharing a bathroom with in college.

It’s easy to imagine Brad bringing home George Clooney, Gwyneth Paltrow, that protein-shake-drinking sherpa, Angelina Jolie’s son Maddox, (who won’t settle down until everyone oohs and aahs over his precocious little Mohawk) and now Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, the baby Brangelina. A child so wonderful that she is simply set in the middle of the room to luminesce, shaming those who rely on overhead lighting rather than the glow of their own genetic masterpiece.

Vince Vaughn comes with an entirely different crew. His buddies include Owen and Luke Wilson, Ben Stiller, Will Farrell and the rest of the “frat pack.” If he invites the fellows over for movie night, it is basically a guarantee that someone will mistake a potted plant for the W.C., misuse the food processor, or place a prank call.

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Advantage: Team Vaughn. Provided you have a carpet cleaner, like to hear “Dodgeball” quotes over and over, and the furniture is covered in two sheets of plastic.

The hobbies
In determining dominance between Team Vaughn and Team Pitt, the final category is, of course, hobbies. How better to judge a man than by the activities he finds personally fulfilling?

To the casual fan, Brad’s hobbies seem to include: Getting highlights, working out, adopting other women’s children, remodeling houses and making examples of pesky paparazzi in Namibia.

Vince’s hobbies seem a bit simpler: Watching sporting events, Sega Genesis and excessive use of the word “baby” and “money,” top the list.

Advantage: Overwhelming victory for Team Vaughn. While few women want to devote their lives to watching football every weekend (aren’t the Manning brothers some sort of dance troupe?) there’s nothing wrong with macho pastimes, especially if it keeps a guy too busy to run off and impregnate Angelina Jolie.

The advantage in this week’s battle thus falls by a small margin to Team Vaughn — whose frat-boy-next-door charm seems to be winning him fans, even if he has yet to trump Team Pitt in the battle of the washboard stomachs. After all, audiences were so invested in Vaughn’s pairing with Aniston that the “The Break-Up” was rewritten to reunite the pair — a good omen for Vince and Jen, and an even better indication of Vince’s big-screen likeability. Now if only he’d take a jog with Brad’s sherpa…

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