Boosting body image: Tips to talking with teens

And both mothers and daughters are passionate about talking. The vast majority of girls 15 to 17 years old feel that their mother has had a positive influence on their feelings about themselves and their beauty. More than 90 percent of girls 15 to 17 believe it is important to engage them early on about having a realistic and healthy body image. More than half of all girls and women ages 15 to 64 say they wished their mothers had talked with them more often about beauty and body image. When growing up, mothers and daughters want to talk, but it is not always easy, as Courtney and Susan found out.

Remember that you are in a unique position to help your daughter, and your impact will be more than skin deep. Courtney is not the only one shrinking from life, hiding from the world because she feels bad about the way she looks. We found that more than 70 percent of girls worldwide will avoid routine daily activities when they feel bad about their looks — activities such as attending school, going to social events, voicing an opinion or even going to the doctor. 

Here are a few tips and tools to get this important conversation started and on a positive track. You can find many other tips and tools at campaignforrealbeauty.com.

Lets talk about it
The key to a good conversation is the art of listening, of really hearing what your daughter has to say. Listen empathetically; try to see the world through her eyes. You don’t need to rush in with advice; wait until you really understand how she sees things. Adolescence is confusing and full of roller-coaster emotions. Help her to know that whatever she feels is just that — a feeling. That is neither right nor wrong. Most of all, try not to trivialize her concerns. What may seem like a small or unimportant problem may be of profound importance to her.

Be a super role model
We’re so used to criticizing ourselves that we may not even realize that we are doing so. But when we make negative comments about our own bodies, our daughters learn to be critical of theirs. Consider how your eating habits influence your daughter’s. Are the messages that you give her by your actions the same as those given in your words? In the second Dove Global study we found that one of the key concerns that moms have is that they will pass on their own insecurities about their bodies to their daughters. It's important to be self-aware and to model for your daughter the confidence and positive image you want to see in her.

Enter into her world
Take the time to watch television with your daughter, listen to her music and leaf through her magazines. Encourage her to explain how the images and messages she sees and hears make her feel. You can’t eliminate the messages that bombard her, but you can know what she faces and you can consider ways to counter these images. One way is to increase your daughter’s media literacy. Point out to her that media images are often retouched and altered. Not even supermodels look nearly as beautiful in real life as they do on the pages of magazines.

Celebrate her unique beauty
It is important to let your daughter know that you think she is beautiful. But this will have an even greater impact if you focus in on the uniqueness of her beauty — whether it’s her great smile, her curly hair or her almond-shaped eyes. Even the most self-critical girl likes something about the way she looks. You can collect photographs of her that she likes and let her say why. Help her to celebrate her strengths rather than to focus on what she perceives to be her flaws.

Reclaim the pleasure
Growing up is a confusing but also exhilarating time. Your daughter is not just a bundle of worries. She is also excited about the changes in her body. Share that excitement with her, and encourage her to take pride and pleasure in her body and herself.

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