Cruise control

Hoda Kotb: Okay, is Mission Impossible III going to be big you guys, you think?

Francis Callier, VH1’s Best Week Ever: Oh, it’s gonna be huge.

Angela Shelton, VH1’s Best Week Ever: Are you kidding me? We have to all see—we gotta see if Tom’s lost his mind.

Callier: Right. Let’s check his eyes and see if there’s crazy in ‘em.

But initial box office numbers suggest “crazy” may have kept more movie-goers away than Hollywood expected.

Maybe some moviegoers were having a hard time forgetting Tom Cruise’s public behavior. During the last spin cycle when he was making love, not talking “War of the Worlds.” He used the opening night for his previous film to announce his engagement.

The next surprise came on October 5^th, 2005.

Kotb: Do you remember that day?

Shelton: Oh, I think we all know where we were that day.

Callier: Yeah.

Shelton: I was at the grocery store. Wondering what Jessica and Nick were doing. And then I heard it over the loud speaker: Katie pregnant.

Tomkat were having a TomKitten. It quickly became the most photographed embryo in the history of mankind and from the inside too! Cruise bought a sonogram machine for those in-utero Kodak moments.

But in pictures, the once-radiant actress often looked secluded and gloomy.

David Spade (Comedy central show clip): This summer “Mission Impossible: III” will be released… and Katie Holmes won’t be.

Bloggers said she had turned from hip to hypnotized, from a-list to alien—the galaxy of Tom Cruise was closing in like a black hole.

Kotb: If you had to bring Katie a baby shower gift, what would it be?

Callier: One of those jaws of life.

Shelton: Big clipper things—clip her from whatever she tied to. Or, like a distraction bomb. You know what I mean? I probably bring her a key for—Kiefer from, “24,” help get her out.

Callier: Right—right. Jack Bauer.

Shelton: Bring her some Jack Bauer to get her out.

Perez Hilton, blogger: Allegedly, Katie Holmes has cut off everyone except for her mom and her dad and the members of the Church of Scientology.

It didn’t help that the paparazzi caught people walking into the cruise compound with signs demanding silence.

The guessing game immediately began: was Katie having a silent birth? Scientologists believe silence at birth is good for the baby’s mental health. So no doctors chatting, no “push push” coaching—and mom should try to keep it down.

Callier: I don’t understand that. Don’t you want your doctor to communicate? Yeah, cause I’d need some instructions.

Shelton: Yeah— what’s he supposed to do?  Just like hand signals or those flags on the air—

Callier: On the tarmac, or whatever, you know what I mean?

On April 18^th, just as some people were starting to wonder if that was really a volleyball under her shirt, Tomkat gave birth to little baby-girl.

They called her Suri. And as with all things Tom Cruise, the naming needed some explaining.

According to Cruise, Suri, in Hebrew, means Princess.

My mission takes me to Israel, where they really know Hebrew. Dr. Avshalom Kor is Israel’s best-known Hebrew language expert.

Dr. Avshalom Kor: There is no name like Suri. It seems the source is the term “sar.” “Sar” is ancient Hebrew means a ruler. The feminine form is “Sara.” So I can address to the young couple and to the baby and say “Suri.”

Suri is a form of rare alpaca, imagine a cuddlier llama.

News of the baby was greeted with great fanfare in Katie’s hometown, Toledo, where our mission took us next. They love her there.

Two days after Suri was born, Farr and Toledo’s mayor took us on a little birthday celebration. The mayor even called Suri’s grandfather, Marty Holmes.

Toledo mayor: Marty said all were doing very very well.

Cruise’s timing could not be better: the baby came just in time for the new movie. But Hollywood’s baby of this week was greeted with less fanfare. Some initial reports suggest the movie may not do as well as expected. Could it be because of tome cruise’s  personal life?

But hey, what about his next production? The wedding. My mission takes me to... I’m not sure... no one knows where or when this wedding will be.

Kotb: There’s rumors that they already got married on some yacht somewhere.

Shelton: No, I would be really hurt if Tom did that to us. If he didn’t give us the opportunity to have paparazzi scale a wall and take pictures of his wedding. That is not American.

Cruise did give the paparazzi a chance to see TomKat walk down the aisle. This Thursday was his last public appearance before the movie opened. There was one final stunt.

As Hollywood love stories go, this one may have had a particularly improbable script. But the final scene is still a classic: the leading man gets the babe, the baby, but will he get the blockbuster? This weekend Tom Cruise once again has everyone on edge.

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