Stupid girls? Don't forget the stupid boys

Recently, Pink sat at the right hand of Oprah and chastised young Hollywood starlets for acting like “stupid girls.” Her video, appropriately titled “Stupid Girls,” was the catalyst for the interview.

In it, Pink satirizes the Mary Kate Olsens, the Lindsay Lohans, and Paris Hiltons — the entire tribe of tabloid darlings who have become household names and easy targets for lampooning — not only because of their actions, but because of their unfailingly silly accouterment: neon Mystic Tans, homeless haut couture, itty-bitty designer dogs and, according to Pink, proportionate brains. 

While nothing says feminism quite like going on daytime television and instigating a good old-fashioned catfight, I think Pink missed the boat on this one. Don’t get me wrong: On her very best day, I would still turn down a peek at Paris Hilton’s Scantron sheet. To my mind, though, mocking Hollywood starlets for being vapid and out-of-control is like turning off the Miss USA pageant because it’s a bit cheesy. Frankly, what did you expect?

I’m afraid that with all this infighting over whether celebrity women are dumbing themselves down, we’re overlooking an even greater issue.   Even if “American Idol’s” Kelly Pickler is an evil genius, even if young women are finding their role models in night-vision home videos, at the end of the day the question is still “Why all these stupid girls?”

It should be: “What do the stupid boys have to do to get a song around here?”

Behind every stupid girl is an equally stupid man — promoting her, dating her, interviewing her.  For every Lindsay Lohan treating a Mercedes like a rental Grand Am, there is a Wilmer Valderrama creating a TV series entirely based on “Yo Momma” jokes. For every muted Katie Holmes, there is Brad Pitt, silently trailing after Angelina Jolie. For every Britney Spears, there is Kevin Federline, and a potentially limitless number of dim offspring.

Even the aforementioned Jessica Simpson, whose Chicken Of The Sea gaffe launched the much-heralded stupid chic trend, would not be possible without the leering presence of diamond-stud wearing dad and manager Joe Simpson, second only to Arnold Schwarzenegger as the most successful himbo of his generation. 

The male bimbo — “himbo” or “mimbo,” as immortalized by Elaine in a now-famous “Seinfeld” — is a reality. Hollywood is full of real-life man candy, Joey Tribbianis who seem to fly under the radar, undetected, their words and deeds never to be immortalized in pop songs.

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