What’s the deal with ‘Deal or No Deal’?

“You have been throwing in some odd little extras,” I pointed out. “Like the pony.”

“Maybe we went a little too far when we brought in the guy’s daughter then trotted out a live pony to include in the offer," he admitted. “How could the guy say “No Deal” to that on national TV and not feel like a schmuck? So, he ended up making one of the quickest “Deals” in the series and settled for $156 grand less than he had in his case — not counting the horse. So the next time we offered a player a little something extra, it was hair plugs for her husband. But sometimes the little manipulations are so corny, they’re cool. Like the guy who proposed to his girlfriend when the offer got to $160,000.”

“I wonder if she’d have said yes if it was just $160.”

“Even The Banker isn’t that cynical," he snorted. “It’s just a game. It’s like playing Texas Hold ‘Em against a top champion, except neither of you get to see your own cards and you’re playing with somebody else’s money. Think about this — when a contestant has lost their shot at all the big amounts, they usually just want to keep playing the game to the last case. But the audience doesn’t mind. We had one show where two players finished with $50 and $8 and our ratings didn’t suffer in the slightest.”

“Doesn't sound like Must-See TV,” I said.

"But we've still the most consistently high-rated show on NBC," he wailed. “Doesn't matter if we've got big winners or big losers, or ponies or hair plugs, or even a rerun! The naysayers predicted America would be bored with us by now, but we're still beating everything on at 8 o'clock!"

"Except for 'American Idol,' " I couldn't resist pointing out.

He stammered, "Yeah, and they've been playing the same game every week for five years!"

“You’re sounding more like a TV producer than a Banker.”

“Okay, to be perfectly honest, I’m not The Banker. I just work for him. You can call me The Teller”

"Well, you told me," I said, and pushed the red button on the dashboard. I knew that ejector seat would come in handy one day.

Wendell Wittler is the online alias of a writer from Southern California.

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