Wine in a box, one serving at a time

Jon Bonné Lifestyle editor • Profile

Just when we got used to wine in a box getting respectable, it’s been reinvented.

Three Thieves, a partnership of vintners Joel Gott and Roger Scommegna, and Charles Bieler of France’s Chateau Routas, knows something about packaging wine. Their jug wines — which kitschily evoked memories of low-grade plonk but improved on the wine in the bottle — were revolutionary when unveiled a couple years ago. Next came their 1-liter Tetra Briks, soft-sided boxes that could easily tuck into a crowded refrigerator and eliminated the need for all that glass.

Now they’ve shrunk their boxes. The Three Thieves 250-ml “bullets,” sold four to a pack, resemble elongated, narrow juice boxes with less severe edges. It’s nothing new to buy such a four-pack; mass-market brands like Gallo and Sutter Home have been doing it for years. (Sutter Home was the brainchild of Trinchero Family Estates, which has become a partner in the Three Thieves project.). But the new format offers both more wine — 250 ml, versus the standard 187-ml serving — and less waste.

There are so many reasons why this new format makes sense. The Three Thieves folks have focused on its environmental virtues: made largely of paper, the Tetra Prisma, as the format is called (sometimes used for single-serve soups) eliminates the need to recycle glass and cuts down on shipping costs, which is one reason why airlines have taken a serious interest since its unveiling late last month.

But the truth is: It’s just plain brilliant. Either you can envision yourself swigging away at the modest box of wine nestled comfortably in your palm, or you turn up your nose and go back to decanting your bottle of Lynch Bages.

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The potential of this format is immediate on first glance: Toss one of these suckers in a backpack and haul it to the beach — no corkscrew needed. Heck, no cup needed. Drink it and toss it in the recycling bin. (If you feel the need to tote around stemware, each box provides enough for two modest glasses or one jumbo.)

These little suckers may be the biggest newsroom conversation piece I’ve ever kept on my desk. Perhaps it’s the juice box concept rewritten in an adult context, but their appeal is simply instantaneous.

Whole Foods certainly got it. By May 1, says Bieler, the “bullets” — complete with smarmy back panels (“This is what happens when winemakers and engineers hang out together”) — will be available in every Whole Foods location that sells wine.

With that sort of unveiling, it’s no surprise Three Thieves ran through its initial batch of 10,000 6-liter cases and is planning another run next month. Other supermarkets are likely to feature them soon, and the company is working to place them in stadium and beach restaurant concessions. A four-pack will cost between $8.99 and $10.99 in retail stores.

“I'm an enthusiastic promoter,” Bieler says, “but it has blown our f---ing minds.”

There are a few shortfalls. Thanks to federal revenue regulations, individual boxes can only be retailed in bundles of four, though restaurants should be able to serve them one by one. But the biggest drawback right now is probably what’s inside the box.

The Three Thieves boxes will launch with a 2002 Cabernet and a 2004 pinot grigio, both from California. The wines certainly are on par with similar California efforts blended from wine bought on the open market. I just wish they were better. Bieler defends them as “varietally correct,” which is true, but when it comes to cheap California Cab and its often clunky oak flavors, that’s a pretty low bar.

Then there is the matter of the straw, or more precisely, the lack thereof. Chalk that one up to the Thieves’ biggest customer, the Liquor Control Board of Ontario. The LCBO nixed the straw idea, invoking a juice-boxes-and-kids argument.

What juice might possibly be doing in the wine aisle is beyond me, but no matter. Even without the straw, bet on these little boxes becoming the summer’s must-try drink.

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