Hey, newlyweds — time to talk about money

updated 6:28 p.m. ET April 13, 2006

NEW YORK - For many young couples, talking about money is more difficult than discussing sex.

Little surprise, given that experts say financial problems — not bedroom gymnastics — are the major cause of divorce.

"Many young couples are so busy being romantic that they forget to talk about anything practical like personal finance," says Sheryl Garrett, a certified financial planner and author of "Getting Married. "Money isn't a romantic subject, but marriage should be seen as entering into a financial as well as a romantic partnership."

Garrett suggests a monthly meeting to discuss the basics of personal finance. It doesn't have to be elaborate and can generally be wrapped up in about half an hour.

The couple should review last month's expenditures, make adjustments as needed for the current month and look ahead to next month. This isn't a full-bore, bean-counting session, but an effort to keep basic expenses in line with income.

"This way, both spouses are kept in the loop, and there are no secrets," Garrett says. "There's no blame, no shame. It's taking your financial pulse: Did we meet our goals? What can be done better? You don't want to beat each other up — you want to make the finances work better."

Money should be budgeted each month for fixed expenses such as rent or mortgage, utilities, food, insurance and transportation.

If both spouses work, a good starting point is a 50-50 split of all household expenses. However, if one spouse's income is significantly higher, consider prorating the monthly contribution based on a percentage of the income gap.

MARRIAGE AND MONEY Financial tips for newlyweds Live within your means Save, save, save Set goals Draft a monthly budget Adequate insurance Write a will Diversify your holdings Source: Forbes.com

Many couples set up his, hers and joint checking accounts. The joint account is used to pay household expenses, and the personal accounts are used for trips to the spa, golf course or other special interests, such as books and CDs.

Hobbies don't vanish after saying "I do," and the personal accounts will allow both spouses to spend on their interests as they see fit within a predetermined limit.

"Secrecy can be a killer," Garrett says. "Many couples get married in their late 20s or even early 30s and are used to being independent. Having separate accounts allows the couple to maintain some financial independence while being completely open about it."

Establish a savings account, make regular contributions and don't forget to set aside a little mad money for a night or two out. (See: "Getting The Most From Savings Accounts.")

Understanding each other's financial style will avoid squabbles in the future. One spouse may have been raised in a traditional family where Dad made all the financial decisions and handled the money. The other spouse may have been raised in a household where major financial matters were freely discussed and decisions represented the views of both parents. The newly married couple must decide how financial decisions will be made and who will handle the basics, such as paying the monthly bills and balancing the checkbook.

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