Top editor’s advice? Women can have it all

Bonnie Fuller has it all: She’s a high-powered magazine editor, a happily married woman, and a mother of four. In her upbeat new book, “The Joys of Much Too Much,” the editorial director of American Media — publisher of Star Magazine and the National Enquirer — tells women how they can have it all, too! One of her secrets is to keep your inner demons at bay. “If I had ever really ‘faced the facts’ about myself,” she writes, “I never would have reached for even a zillionth of what I've managed to accomplish.” She also tells how she tackled setbacks. After reviving Glamour magazine, she was tossed out. But she persevered. Fuller was invited to appear on “Today” to share her secrets for happiness and success. Here’s an excerpt:

Chapter One

Never Face the Facts: The Positive Aspects of Denial
A few years ago when I was having lunch with David Brown, the Oscar-winning producer of films such as Jaws and Chocolat, I garnered a bit of wisdom I recognized instantly as right on the money: "Under no circumstances, face the facts." David first heard this motivating mantra from the legendary actress Ruth Gordon.

David explained that if he and his producing partner Richard D. Zanuck had read the book Jaws more closely and realized they had to create a mechanical shark to make the story work onscreen, they never would have gone near the project. Ignorant, they went forward, and even hired a then-unknown, twenty-nine-year-old director named Steven Spielberg. The rest is movie box office history. Jaws, the first of the big summer blockbusters, took in $470 million worldwide, which stood as a record until the release of Star Wars.

As soon as the words left his mouth, I realized that, consciously or unconsciously, I had been living my life by David and Ruth's mantra. How else could a geeky, Canadian Jewish girl from a dysfunctional family grow up to be a successful magazine editor in New York City?

NBC VIDEO Bonnie Fuller says women can have it all April 11: The "Today" show's Al Roker talks with the editorial director of American Media, publisher of the National Enquirer, about her new book, "The Joys of Much Too Much." Today Relationship

If I had ever really "faced the facts" about myself, I never would have reached for even a zillionth of what I've managed to accomplish. In 1989, as editor in chief, I relaunched YM, the teen magazine, which went on to great success before eventually folding many years later; three years after that, I created and launched Marie Claire in America; three years later, I revamped Cosmopolitan; then in 1998 I brought Glamour magazine to its highest circulation and profits ever before being very publicly tossed out of the editor in chief position.

Eight months later I landed at the celebrity magazine Us Weekly, which I worked hard to turn into a blockbuster success. Now I am editorial director of American Media, whose twenty publications include Shape, Men's Fitness, and Star, which I have just retooled with the help of a great team, led by editor in chief Joe Dolce, from a newsprint tabloid into a glossy magazine.

To make YM a success, I had to ignore the fact that Seventeen had dominated the teen magazine market for years. If I had really stopped to consider the fact that Us Weekly had been written off by the media and advertising world before I was able to revive it, I might have been paralyzed by fear and self-doubt. If I had fixated on the fact that many people thought Star was about aliens when I started at the magazine, I would have been in a state of despair from day one. These were my versions of David Brown's mechanical shark.

Imagine a short brunette, with bitten-to-the-quick nails, flyaway hair, adult acne, with no family connections or money, no Ivy League or literary credentials, no appearances on a reality TV show. Imagine her thinking she could land the job of her dreams not once, but over and over again — not to mention find a wonderful man to love, and learn how to keep a pack of personal demons at bay. I've been able to make it happen, and I'll show how you can, too.

Adopt a make-things-happen mind-set
You don't have to be Dr. Freud to come to see that just forging ahead — and not giving yourself excuses for not doing so — can do wonders for your ability to keep unpleasant, unhelpful "facts" about your perceived imperfections in your own personal box marked Do Not Open.

In the Real World, who can sit on a couch each week and overanalyze his or her problems? Staying occupied with truly worthwhile, though often trying tasks, such as child rearing or doing a job you love, wards off self-indulgence and a kind of paralyzing introspection that leads to nothing but further insecurities.

Focus on the things that bring joy into your life: self-obsession rarely does. I'd rather watch my kids perform in the high school musical, make a photo album for my mom, or work with my staff to redesign a magazine than sit on a couch, analyzing my past and my problems. Doing the best job you can, both at work and in your personal life — whether it's dating or raising a family or being involved in your community — is what's satisfying in a deep and lasting way.

I'm sure a therapist would tell me that part of the reason why I work so hard is that doing so distracts me from my inner demons. You know what? That's probably true. But I'd rather take pleasure out of working, and in the other parts of my life. After all, how long can you go on about your rotten childhood, your father's running out on you, and the insecurities brought about by not having the safety net a secure family background provides? How does it help to dwell on these things?

I don't believe in digging down to find out about the roots of the problems. Generally I know where the problems come from; how does further digging help the situation? At a certain point, you have to get on with your life. You have to move on.

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