In short essays, “Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay” delivers the straight dirt on parenting — tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes to attachment parenting. Stefanie Wilder-Taylor combines practical tips with humor and honesty, assuring women that they can be good mothers and responsibly make their own choices. Here's an excerpt:

MOMMY AND ME, ME, ME  
There came a point when my baby was about six months old where I realized that a trip to the grocery store didn’t constitute a full day of activity in the outside world for either of us, even if one of us was sneaking samples from the bulk section. The brief walk around the block later in the day wasn’t adding much either (I’d try to make it around the whole neighborhood but my cell phone kept running out of juice.) So, while sitting in my living room for the tenth straight day, I realized the time had come to consider some alternate entertainment options.

Up until this point I’d avoided organized baby activities. I’ve never been much of a joiner, and in the beginning I had a ready-made excuse — I could barely get the baby in and out of the car in under an hour. Plus, I’d always been a bit closed-minded about these types of things.  I’d hear people talking about “Mommy and Me” and just judging by name alone it sounded like something I’d have absolutely no interest in.  I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Your baby doesn’t need to be making friends at three months old — you do! But not with people you’ll meet at Mommy and Me.”

I imagined the worst; magenta colored walls with enormous yellow suns painted on them, mommies as perky as preschool teachers, nuzzling their little cuties in their laps, singing cherished children’s songs that I wouldn’t be able to recall if there was a gun to my head. Especially, if there was a gun to my head! A lot of women taking their mothering very seriously!

NBC VIDEO Motherhood can be a laughing matter April 10: The "Today" show's Natalie Morales talks with Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, a stand-up comedienne and a new mom, about her new book, "Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay." Today show

So I looked into some alternatives and, as it turns out, there’s no shortage of organized activities for you and your cherub — provided you have unlimited time and money. You can sign your infants up for tiny baby gymnastics, Itsy Bitsy Yoga, dance classes, music classes, and, if you live in New York you can sign your six-month-old up for Broadway Babies so they can learn to drool their way through “Rent.” If you decide that a trip down your birth canal isn’t enough of a workout for your newborn, there’s even a swimming class that offers lessons for one day old babies. What the hell? That just seems like a waste of money. You know how newborns are, by the time the kid is thirty-six hours old he’ll have forgotten everything he learned anyway.

After reviewing my various options, Mommy and Me was sounding more and more tolerable so I reluctantly signed up for a class at a local temple, put on my fanciest draw-string pants and hoped for the best. Maybe I’d make a friend.

It turns out my initial fears were not unfounded.

The group consisted of about twelve women and their babies arranged in a big circle on large colorful mats on the floor. Each mat had a face depicting a different mood and the name of that mood, such as “HAPPY,” “SAD,” “SHY” etc.

I scanned the room for my best discreet exit strategy and then planted myself and my baby on a “GRUMPY” mat nearby. 

The woman who sat down on my right had a baby approximately the same age as mine so we stuck up a conversation which immediately proved difficult due to an unfortunate neon sweatband around her forehead. After a few minutes of not knowing where to look, I turned to the woman on my left. It was then that I made a truly frightening discovery — she too had a neon sweatband! Imagine the Vegas odds on two out of twelve women in the same room having on the exact same fashion atrocity. 

Luckily, right about the time I’d run out of places to focus, our “leader,” a woman whose pleasant personality made up for a lack of expertise of any kind, asked who among us had “baby issues” they wanted to discuss. She hit pay dirt with this crowd. It seemed a lot of moms had a pressing concern they were champing at the bit to hear a group of equally inexperienced women advise them on. My attitude was getting poorer by the minute.

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