How to handle the office jerk

By Scott Reeves

updated 7:27 a.m. ET April 5, 2006

The pallbearers carried their co-worker's casket down the church steps to the hearse.

Mourners whispered their fond memories and expressed an overwhelming sense of loss to friends. A cell phone tucked in one of the pallbearer's pockets played a cheerful tune. He's an important guy, so he took the call.

"That's appalling," says Dr. Ken Lloyd, author of "Jerks at Work: How to Deal With People Problems and Problem People." "His action told everyone that on many levels he's a jerk."

Unfortunately, there's no shortage of jerks. These maddening creatures, including some with real talent, are everywhere. There are jerks in the corner office, jerks in middle management, jerks in computer support and jerks in the next cubicle. Jerks can be male or female, young or old. An education doesn't inoculate one against jerkdom. The essence of a jerk is immutable, or so it seems, raising a basic question: How do you deal with the office ninny, jackass or schmuck?

First, don't try to change a jerk's behavior. You're not his mother or a shrink, and your efforts are doomed to fail. Instead, try to understand the jerk's motivation and work through it to get the job done while steering clear of his problems.

"You can't ignore a jerk's behavior because it will get worse until he gets your attention," says Lloyd, who holds a Ph.D. in organizational behavior. "Typically, jerks engage in bad behavior to get a reaction, and they'll just turn up the volume until they get to you."

Handling the office jerk      Definition of jerk No single cause Deflating the bully Don't play the jerk's game The e-mail jerk Wit vs. sarcasm Jerks in paradise Source: Forbes.com

First, be assertive — not aggressive — when dealing with a jerk. A jerk may have doubts about his ability and status, so the last thing you want to do is challenge him on those grounds. Being aggressive with a jerk will play into his hands and give him an excuse to become a turbo-charged twit. Remember: No one can out-jerk a real jerk, so don't try. (See: "Smell Ya Later." )

"Screamers and bullies are classic jerks," Lloyd says. "Their bad behavior is intended to get what they want, and they don't care about those around them."

Some organizations are run like Jerk Inc. There is little or no orientation, and the manager never makes it clear what's expected of a new employee. "We don't coddle our workers," the jerk-in-chief may say. "It's sink or swim."

The Big Jerk may think he's sounding tough in a competitive world, but this is bad management. His unspoken tactic may be keeping the secrets of the priesthood — i.e., how to get the job done efficiently — in his hands, building his power and prestige. (See: "How To Work For An Idiot.")

If so, don't play the game and assume your assigned role of wanderer in the wilderness. Ask questions. Demand answers. Seek challenging assignments. Show the jerk what you can do. If no one offers help and if you're shot down at every turn, it may be time to leave. But don't worry, because you're part of what's almost certainly a high turnover at the company, and your departure for a competently run company won't reflect badly on you. (See: "I Pledge Allegiance To My Company.")

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