Porn: Homewrecker or harmless fun?

updated 7:10 p.m. ET April 9, 2006

NEW YORK - The industry’s VIPs mingle at political galas and Super Bowl parties. Their product is available on cell phones, podcasts, and particularly the Internet — there it’s an attraction like no other, patronized by tens of millions of Americans.

It’s pornography. And if you’re a consumer, John Harmer thinks you’re damaging your brain.

Harmer is part of a cadre of anti-porn activists seeking new tactics to fight an unprecedented deluge of porn which they see as wrecking countless marriages and warping human sexuality. They are urging federal prosecutors to pursue more obscenity cases and raising funds for high-tech brain research that they hope will fuel lawsuits against porn magnates.

“We don’t think it’s a lost cause,” said Harmer, a Utah-based auto executive and former politician who’s been fighting porn for 40 years.

“It’s the most profitable industry in the world,” he said. “But I’m convinced we’ll demonstrate in the not-too-distant future the actual physical harm that pornography causes and hold them financially accountable. That could be the straw that breaks their back.”

The activists’ adversary is a sprawling industry that, by some counts, offers more than 4 million porn sites on the Internet, that in the United States alone is estimated to be worth $12 billion a year. A tracking firm, comScore Media Metrix, says about 40 percent of Internet users in the United States visit adult sites each month.

Porn products are featured at popular sex expositions and retail chains such as Hustler Hollywood. Major hotels provide in-room porn, and adult film stars are now mainstream celebrities. Mary Carey attended a VIP Republican fundraiser in Washington in mid-March; Jenna Jameson’s “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star” hit the best-seller lists and she hosted a racy pre-Super Bowl party in Detroit in February.

As much as there is national consensus on the evils of child pornography, there is none whatever on porn featuring adults and marketed to them. It’s more pervasive than ever, yet activists and experts disagree bitterly over the extent of harm it causes.

“The form of entertainment is no problem,” said Paul Cambria, general counsel for the porn industry’s Adult Freedom Foundation. “There are individuals who are going to react abnormally to normal material, but it’s not a problem for the average person.”

For every couple driven apart by porn, there are others whose relationship is enlivened, Cambria argued. He dismissed contentions that porn is highly addictive or brain-damaging.

“Some people lie about it,” Cambria said. “It’s their way of excusing personally unacceptable conduct — ‘It wasn’t me, it was porn.”’

Such attitudes infuriate experts on the other side who say online porn is as addictive as crack cocaine.

Miseducation system
“The Internet is the perfect delivery system for anti-social behavior — it’s free, it’s piped into your house,” said Mary Anne Layden, a psychologist and addiction expert at the University of Pennsylvania. “Internet porn is probably the biggest miseducation system we can devise in terms of sexuality, misuse of women.”

She says many of her patients, rather than improving their sex lives with porn, suffer sexual dysfunction.

Interest in porn is age-old and normal, says psychologist David Greenfield of West Hartford, Conn., an expert on Internet behaviors, but it can become a destructive obsession for a minority who indulge in it at the expense of healthy relationships. Easy availability is part of the issue.

“It’s not your father’s porn,” he said. “With little or no effort, as long as you have a computer, you can access some of the most stimulating content on the planet. There’s no delay, no person watching. It’s designed to very quickly get to a point where you’re not in full control.”

He estimates that for up to 10 percent of porn users, relationships suffer — with many husbands spending so much time online that they cease to have sex with their wives.

Divorce lawyers report that porn use is an increasingly common factor in marriage breakups: It can cause immense pain when a wife discovers her husband’s porn habit.

“I compare it to your house burning down,” said Laurie Hall, who divorced her husband after writing a book called “An Affair of the Mind,” about his 20-year obsession with porn.

“It destroys your sense of personhood when you bring all that you are into a relationship and someone chooses to ignore that,” she said. “It eats away at the heart of the family.”

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