At five, ‘Apprentice’ needs a reorg

“The Apprentice” is getting old. It’s about to start its fifth season — as “American Idol” just did — but unlike that show, its momentum has not been building. Sliding ratings and decreasing buzz showed no signs of improvement last fall, when two “Apprentice” versions aired concurrently: Donald Trump’s fourth season, and Martha Stewart’s only season.

Despite this, the show's epic score, cinematic establishing shots, and compelling narratives make it one of the best-produced of all reality shows. And it still manages to generate discussion, especially when its contestants do stupid things that Donald Trump flogs them for in the boardroom.

What, then, is hurting the show? First, it’s increasingly apparent that while “The Apprentice” was one of the first shows to offer a talent-based competition that took place somewhere besides a stage, the series is no “Project Runway,” where drama and entertainment come in the wake of talent. Here, talent seems to be peripheral to drama, and business skills aren’t really on display. But this hasn’t hurt similar talent-based shows such as UPN’s “America’s Next Top Model” or FOX’s “Hell’s Kitchen.”

The show's challenges don’t focus on contestants' talents. More often than not, they seem to be about demonstrating entry-level marketing (create an ad campaign for a sponsor’s amazing new product!) or sales (sell this sponsor’s amazing new product!) skills. The challenges blend into one another, as do the first four seasons. Which season did they redesign the Pepsi bottle? Promote Dairy Queen? Taster’s Choice? Sell new Whoppers? Create a marketing campaign for Crest? (The answers: 2, 4, 3, 3, and 2.)

The first season, when few companies were willing to pay for exposure, actually had some of the most creative challenges; one week, the candidates had to search for good deals on products during a scavenger hunt. In subsequent seasons, the challenges mostly became poorly disguised infomercials.

More significantly, the series is designed to hire an apprentice to run a company, not make photocopies or run around on the street with a sandwich board begging people to sample some crap.

Selling lemonade does not a CEO make
Thus, only the final challenge is really a good test of what it takes to be a CEO. Although “Apprentice” knock-offs “The Benefactor” and “The Rebel Billionaire” were less interesting, their challenges more often required extreme creativity and ingenuity, and challenged the contestants mentally in ways “The Apprentice” has never attempted.

The candidates themselves may have impressive resumes, but they’re often grossly incompetent, with many clearly cast for their potential to create drama. The casting became so problematic that Donald Trump denounced the cast of the third season and selected nearly the entire fourth season cast himself. He did the same thing for this new season. But that didn’t help “The Apprentice 4”: the show seemed to tread water despite its controversial conclusion, during which Trump hired his most qualified candidate yet, Randal Pinkett.

"The Apprentice" certainly has other flaws, primarily Trump’s boardroom lectures, which are so often obviously recorded in post-production that for all we know, Trump is actually reciting his grocery list to the candidates and scripting his rationale for the firing later. The show also repeatedly and excessively flaunts corporate partners whose products become more than just part of the storylines. While both aren’t befitting of a series of this quality and pedigree, other reality shows far more egregiously cross similar ethical lines.

Of the show’s components, then, we’re left with one: the show’s host, or as close as it comes to a host. And Donald Trump is the show’s biggest problem.

“The Apprentice” gets its life from its star, unlike those reality series that are effectively and efficiently guided by their hosts but don’t place them at center stage (“Survivor,” “The Amazing Race,” “The Mole”). There is no disputing that the real star of “The Apprentice” is the famous billionaire. His silhouette forms the series’ logo; the title sequence is an homage to the life and empire he’s built. His series succeeded and became a hit because of him. Donald Trump’s personality and persona are now holding the series back, however, preventing it from evolving. His exceptional and not-quite-believable hyperbole has suffered the most; while it was once fun, it’s now beyond ridiculous.

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