Movie-man candy: Looks great, no filling

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Movie video

'Salt': July 23
Angelina Jolie is Evelyn Salt, a CIA agent accused of being a Russian spy. As Salt uses her years of training to elude capture, her actions cause concern over what her true motives may be.

Moore on new Tom Ford flick

Harry Potter is back, with a LEGO update

Pregnant Amy Adams ‘feeling really good’

Damon and Freeman on ‘Invictus’

Slideshow

December movies
James Cameron’s spectacle “Avatar” hits theaters, along with George Clooney, who is “Up in the Air,” and Robert Downey Jr. as “Sherlock Holmes.”

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On to the A-listers:

Matthew McConaughey
Defamer.com is fond of calling the funny, talented Owen Wilson “The Butterscotch Stallion.” Naturally, I’m in favor of this. But I think the name suits McConaughey more. He feels like gloopy smarmy syrup being poured on every film he’s in.

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY
Diane Bondareff / AP file
Not counting his debut in the hilarious “Dazed and Confused,” have you ever walked out of a movie starring MM and thought, “Wow he’s got great comic timing! What witty banter he exchanged with Jennifer Lopez/Kate Hudson/Al Pacino/Skeet Ulrich (in “The Newton Boys”) and how charming I find him!” If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know that you have not.

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Flocks of women and gay men may find him sexually appealing in that “I’ve Got My Black Lab Draped Over My Shoulder In This ‘Candid’ Photo But While You’re At It Please Check Out My Eight-Pack of Abdominal Muscles, Won’t Y’all?” way, but his recent slew of bland romantic comedies are like death threats delivered in heart-shaped boxes, and his recent blue-collar-tequila “Oprah” appearance (“Let’s run instead of drive! I bathe in the river!”) was one for the Affectation Hall of Fame.

Harrison Ford
Matt Sayles / AP file
I know, I know. How dare I lump him in here! But here’s why I’m right: he’s gotten lazy. Somewhere along the way, post-“Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones,” Ford got used to collecting giant paychecks for playing the Stern Man Who Stands Alone (See: “Patriot Games,” “The Fugitive,” “Clear and Present Danger,” “Air Force One” and now “Firewall.”)

It was like someone told him that half the job was just showing up and that was the half he picked.

He needs to be handed over to cruel Austrian director Michael Hanecke (“Caché”) for his next film. Working for scale. It would be life-altering career surgery. In fact, every man on this list could use that kind of invasive procedure. They could prove that they’re not disposable after all. But, truthfully, if I had my druthers, the job would really go to the guy who tore my ticket that night. He’d just appreciate it more.

Dave White is the film critic for Movies.com and the author of the forthcoming “Exile in Guyville.” His blog can be found at http://djmrswhite.livejournal.com/.

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