Take that, Ben and Jerry

A right cross to the sweet spot
Well, not quite.

Strictly speaking, the folks behind Star Spangled are just three guys with an idea. But there’s more to them than that. All three have deep roots in the conservative movement, and they know how to get attention for their causes. This story is probably proof of that.

Lessner, the vice president (a position he was assigned by drawing straws), is an associate in Capital City Partners, a powerhouse conservative consulting and public relations group; he is the former executive director of the American Conservative Union, an intellectual engine of American conservatism. CEO Frank Cannon, former head of Students for Reagan, co-founded Capital City; he ran Gary Bauer’s presidential campaign in 2000 and contributes regularly to The Weekly Standard. President Andrew Stein is a major-league corporate lawyer in New Jersey.

None of them, in fact, know how to make ice cream. They contracted that part of it to a Baltimore dairy called Moxley’s. They say they don’t know owner Tom Washburn’s politics and don’t care, because he makes great ice cream. (More about that later.) As the brand moved into retail stores, they added a second manufacturer, Leiby’s Dairy of Tamaqua, Pa.

Sales from the Web remain strong, Lessner said, even though the necessity to ship the ice cream packed in dry ice overnight puts the online price at $66 for six pints or $76 for four quarts. To get it off the shelf, you have to live in the mid-Atlantic or the Northeast or near a Navy base in a handful of states. There, it runs around $3 a pint, competitive with Ben & Jerry’s.

“More than half of our sales [off the Internet] are reorders,” Lessner said. “And it’s a fairly steep price ... so people must like the product.”

The tasters speak
Lessner said he and his partners wanted to make the best ice cream on the market “and have some fun.”

So just how good is Star Spangled Ice Cream? We ordered six pints and invited anyone in the MSNBC.com offices to give them a try. All of them — Fightin’ Marine Tough Cookies & Cream, Iraqi Road, Smaller GovernMint, G.I. Love Chocolate, Air Force “Plane” Vanilla” and Navy Battle Chip (vanilla with tiny peanut butter cups) — disappeared quickly.

The consensus among our wholly unscientific testers was that the ice cream was tooth-achingly sweet. The base ice cream itself was quite good, although a little chalky, but the mix-ins struggled for adequacy. Overall, they got just an OK rating.

The skinny on a high-fat treat — It was tasty, but as a chocolate lover, [I found] it wasn’t very heavy on the chocolate flavoring. It reminded me a bit more of the taste of chocolate yogurt from TCBY or someplace like that. Nice and creamy texture. — I prefer more big chunks of cookie in my cookies and cream, but this is quite acceptable. I would not rate the chocolate as highly. — I tried the Tough Cookie flavor, which actually struck me as a propos, considering the cookies tasted stale. — While I’d say the ice cream itself was pretty yum, the cookies disintegrated into a weird sugary mass that wasn’t so pleasant. — Pretty dime a dozen, nothing special. Tastes kind of like your average store-bought brands, and definitely a step below Breyers, Dreyers, etc. — I liked the vanilla with the nano-peanut butter cups best. The chocolate’s not bad either. I can’t compare with Ben & Jerry’s since I haven’t eaten theirs in some time. But I wouldn’t kick it out of bed. — In true Republican fashion, did they outsource this to Bangalore or something? I’m betting, on flavor alone, that this will be about as succesful as W ketchup and freedom fries. — With my eyes closed, not sure I could tell the difference between this and a more politically liberal ice cream. — As to be expected from conservatives, it was cold. Reviewers: Fred Birchman, Meredith Birkett, Katie Cannon, Jim Ray, Michael E. Ross, Alex Valdes, Martin Wolk/MSNBC.com

Although Star Spangled wants to go head to head with Ben & Jerry’s, it’s not playing on a level field. Star Spangled is categorized as a premium ice cream, a description based on its butterfat content — at 14 percent, it falls well short of Ben & Jerry’s 18 percent, which bumps it up into the superpremium category.

You also have to factor in the shipping. Our delivery took two days to arrive, by which time all the dry ice had evaporated. Uneven thawing and freezing would likely have altered its texture and sapped the mix-ins of their crunch and freshness.

(Also, all the reviewers were journalists — full disclosure for those of you who believe in a liberal media bias.)

Star Spangled is eager to get feedback like that. It solicits reviews on its Web site, and it posts all of them, good or bad. Notices for the ice cream itself are uniformly favorable, but not so for the political message.

Like: “This is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Why don’t you imbeciles get a real job?” And: “How about ‘Fascist Fudge for Fat Flabby Dumb [Expletive]-ing Yanks!’” And: “How dare you hijack (so-called) patriotism for profit? I’m sure you’ll make a ton of money, especially since your target marKKKet doesn’t think for itself.”

“There are a lot of angry liberals,” said Lessner, who had this advice for them:

“Relax. It’s just ice cream.”

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