Sin City is Snooze City for ‘Idol’ auditions

Las Vegas is arguably the most exciting city in America, boasting more flash and pizzazz than Simon does criticism. It’s got showgirls. It’s got more musical revues than $10 buffets. It’s got thousands of people arriving in town every day who dream of striking it rich. Heck, it’s even got Celine Dion and Elton John in concert every night!

And yet, the “American Idol” Vegas auditions were the dullest so far this year.

A few singers made it through, but none were all that memorable. Thousands of others had their dreams shattered in typically-sensitive fashion by the judges, but none in a particularly unique way. The city that offers non-stop entertainment to everyone couldn’t give “Idol” viewers a simple hour of entertaining auditioners.

What auditions in Vegas, stays in Vegas
For those hoping for an entertaining evening, Alexia “Dylan” Lychetta offered some hope. He started the auditions with a Rasta wig, a fake Caribbean accent, and a “Jamaica good music” T-shirt. He then went out and sang what he called the “American Idol” reggae, and was roundly rejected.

“I feel like I let myself down, because I should have come on as myself instead of as a gimmick,” the suddenly normal-sounding Lychetta said.

Jason Andino tried that very tactic, and it made no difference. Andino’s day job is as a singing gondolier at the Venetian, but he ditched the costume and the fake Italian accent to come and sing “Stand By Me.” He got cut anyway.

Sadly, Lychetta was the only costumed attendee to get any meaningful airtime. The rest of the failed auditioners were the usual laundry list of people bad enough to get on camera, indistinguishable from their counterparts in the other cities.

In fact, it was as if each of the rejects was playing a role: the Vegas revue edition of the stereotypical rejected “Idol” contestant.

Ryan Hart was the curser. He dropped an f-bomb in his first moment on stage, and the next contestant to do that and move on to the next round will be the first. As Paula told him, “you’re not allowed to do that … it’s a family show.”

Anthony Andolino played the part of the overweight guy who tries his best but only makes it on the air because it allows Simon to make an insensitive comment that causes Paula to smack him. His only hope was his hook — he and his girlfriend live in a house with their 75 — count ’em, 75 — pets. That sounds like interesting television, and the judges could have asked him to bring at least the parakeets to Hollywood to see if his roommate there would get violent. No dice.

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